A Bachelor’s Bookshelf
by boh3m3 on Oct.19, 2008, under To My Fellow 20-Somethings
Writer note: If you decide to order these books from Amazon.com, it would be greatly appreciated if you use the links embedded in the post as a part of the Amazon Affiliate Program. Each book bought by those links sends a cut of the profits to keep the site running.
A bachelor pad is an oasis in the desert of bad apartments. If your body is a temple and your target’s body is a temple, the pad should be the holy land on which the temples collide. Consider this a recommended list of flora and fauna for your “cradle of life.”
Books never expire or change… they don’t break as easily as expensive plasticine trinkets and when used right can open your eyes and mind to previously unknown possibilities and perspectives. I’m of the mind that books, with some obvious exceptions, are one of the most solid investments you can make.
Consider your bookshelf a profile of your brain. A billboard of your brain without the pomposity of braggadocio and an easy icebreaker that informs as well as stimulates.
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: An Inquiry Into Values
This book is a must-have for any man or woman in this topsy-turvy world. It presents important philosophical principles in an easily digestible way with the backdrop of a cross-country motorcycle trip between father and son.
Don’t let the title deceive you: this book will change your entire world view. Concepts like classical and romantic thinking will become profiles for understanding your fellow man’s thought processes. You will understand the Metaphysics of Quality and, inevitably, recommend this book to anyone you value in your life. I know I do.
The Art of Seduction
A no-brainer for the man about town. The methods and styles of seduction are categorized in 10 styles and includes methods and tactics for ensnaring your quarry.
Seduction for most men is an art, not natural skill1. This book is practically a textbook of charm and seduction, and is indispensable for the modern man.
Plus, it’s a conversation starter with excellent possibilities for the crafty student of seduction.
The Art of Worldly Wisdom
Even though this book was written in the 1600s, the principles set forth hold up to this day as rational guidelines for any well-rounded bachelor [or bachelorette, for that matter]. Any magazine article on manners or politeness will be poorly parroting bits and pieces from this book, whether intentionally or not.
The book offers guidelines for behaving in an even, polite manner. If taken verbatim and as absolute, the book will come across as paternal and even preachy. However if you take its teachings in stride and integrate its ideals a-la-carte, you will find your life and relationships better for it.
The Portable Walt Whitman (Penguin Classics)
The Complete Works of William Shakespears Volumes 1-6
Collected Poems 1947-1997
Allen Ginsburg
Poetry is one of the single most powerful weapons in anyone’s repertoire. In a world awash with five cent rap rhymes, advertising slogans and inane pop culture a clever and appropriate recalling of an excellent stanza is a lush tropical island.
Men take note: poetry has long held up as the Pied Piper’s song to a woman’s affections for thousands of years. Shakespeare? Rolling in the pussy back in the day, trust me. But realize your own limitations; your goth poetry might not be Ginsburg and might do more damage than benefit. The words of the great poets who came before you should roll of your tongue to bring hers to yours, among other places.
In addition to the specific examples listed above, one should also have books relating to thier interests. You’ll find this a good investment, especially considering having a physical copy to reference as needed.
Loading ...1: Despite what most men will tell you, there are very few “naturals” in the world. Consider seduction a skill set to be honed and practiced. There is no shame in that.
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October 19th, 2008 on 9:25 pm
You know what? I gave Shakespeare a shot. I really did. I must have COMPLETELY read 3 or 4 of his works through high-school.. and I completely disagree that any bachelor should have these lingering on his bookshelf. Especially if you don’t like to read them - it just makes you look like a pompous douchebag.
“Oh, you have William Shakespeare’s complete set of work?”
“Yeah, actually. I don’t like any of it.. but there they are.”
“So you don’t like them? Why do you have them on display like that?”
“Umm.. because.. I’m smart.. and want to get in your pants?”
Maybe aspiring poets will find something to like in them, but I’m a writing major in university, and I can’t stand anything that asshole wrote. Now, let’s be clear.. I’ll use an analogy that I came up with and am particularly proud of when defending why I dislike reading his stuff:
Reading Shakespeare is like reading the lyrics to a song without any god damned music in the background.
Shakespeare wrote his plays with the intent that they were to be performed, on stage, with actors - albeit an entire male cast of actors, but actors nonetheless - not to be read (and hated) by innocent grade 9’s, who will experience Shakespeare in one form of media and will probably never go and see ‘Romeo and Juliet’ or ‘Macbeth’ in theater because they suffered through incomprehensible text at such a young, vulnerable age.
Now, that’s over with.. I might just go and pick up that Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.. you’ve been drooling over it for long enough, anyway, and it sounds pretty cool.
October 19th, 2008 on 9:45 pm
…I’ve never known any woman you be turned on by Shakespeare, or even consider a man more because he reads Shakespeare. You’re the first person I’ve heard of (other than a few English teachers) that can actually say they enjoyed Shakespeare…other than myself.
Shakespeare was a fantastic writer, very creative, though a bit over dramatic at times (see Julius Caesar’s death).
My bookshelVES are not what I’d call a window into my mind, or a billboard of my brain. They hold trophies, childhood books, a bible, random books I’ve come across, and then about a million other strange books.
I’m not sure what person in their right mind would look at my bookshelves and think, “Damn. This guy enjoys violence and Jesus as much as he enjoys teddy bears and space ships.”
Actually, I’m quite certain my bookshelves are more of a trilogy of my life…not so much a window to my soul.
If you want to know who I am, you need to search long and hard for my journals, and then check out the contents of my computer (besides, a lot of books I enjoy are online). ;]
October 20th, 2008 on 12:48 am
I’ve just recently started reading again since surfing the interweb has actually became a declining interest, but movies on the other hand have filled my bookshelf almost entirely. Books can be a good read, but they will probably be just as incoherent as my movie collection (sci-fi, action, comedy, and a few romantic comedies).
October 20th, 2008 on 4:33 am
Egads, man. No, no, no, no.
The art of seduction: Seriously? Maybe that works on a certain kind of lady, but I’d take it as a warning bell. “This man thinks he knows what he’s doing. GET OUT.” Women don’t want to be ‘played’, they want to think they’re getting to know the real you. Surely. I mean stop me if I’m wrong.
Shakespeare: hmm trciky ground. I’d say a HUGE no to the complete works, because it makes you look like a pompous twat. A few well-thumbed copies of stuff you were made to read in high school and actually liked is vastly preferable; a) because it gestures towards your personal history (always nice) and b) because you’ll have read them.
To be honest, they all seem a bit trying-too-hard-ish. Heaven help you if she tries to start a conversation based on any of them!
Any woman would be far more impressed if they saw your honest collection. Maybe some Terry Pratchett or Douglas Adams (< — would work for me); maybe Dean Koontz and Stephen King; maybe Arthur C Clarke and H G Wells. Whatever, as long as it’s actually YOU.
October 20th, 2008 on 6:20 am
@Derek: “Asshole”? That “asshole” was responsible for enhancing theater, poetry, and literature in a time where such things were a flippant luxury and not an imperative. To demean him just because some blowhard teachers like to stroke his name like some ghost-cock from beyond the grave is to demean literature itself. I understand it’s not to everyone’s tastes, but if you can’t enjoy it on the surface you MUST be able to see the incredible mechanics of his writing.
Shakespeare’s works represent a stylistic and adventurous foray into the unknown of art. He was a pilgrim in an unholy land and by his writ converted the planet. He attempted things in his writing that were scorned, misunderstood, and then eventually lauded by the very people who would have initially thrown him to the wolves.
Just because you don’t LIKE something doesn’t mean it is worthless, and in 9th grade there’s little taught in school that you like ANYWAY. His works stand as an example of man’s innovation and creativity transcending centuries and is not to be written off like some prick author who farts all the time because he doesn’t know how to laugh.
And you will like Zen, I think. It’ll be more palatable than Shakespeare, at the least.
October 20th, 2008 on 6:44 am
@joiywtj: Well to be blunt here, I sincerely doubt you have ever attempted to turn a woman on with Shakespeare. Besides, it’s not like you just throw a volume of Titus Andronicus on their face and all of a sudden they tear their clothes off and tackle you like a riot cop. His work, like roofies, is all about slipping it in without being conspicuous and seeing if it has any effect. Nasty simile, I know… but it’s early and I’m tired.
If your bookshelves are simply glorified mantelpiece/trophy-case junk-drawers, perhaps it ceases to be a book-case at that point and would better be classified as something else.
October 20th, 2008 on 6:56 am
@Thiefree: I think you miss my meaning there. Allow me to explain
By having a book like that on your bookshelf, it becomes less creepy. Here’s why: if you have a book like that and you treat it like porno, it becomes porno. Eventually she will find it peeking out of your mattress or stashed in a secret box and THEN get really quite freaked out.
If you display it as what it is [nothing more than a book], it will not come across as something to be ashamed of. It’s all in how you handle the situation, you see. If you treat it like a conversation piece then that opens up discussion on seduction, sexuality, social dynamics and psychology. All powerful subjects, provided you’ve read more than a page of each.
I also tend to agree with you on the “few copies” issue. The complete works might be a bit much, but as a writer and an appreciator of Shakespeare I can’t help but suggest the complete works to broaden the horizons of my readers.
Most people only know frou frou shit like Romeo and Juliet or his poems like “Ode to a Flower Which Doth Look Akin to a Vagina to be Licked Thusly in Your Honor.” Very few people look into other works of his beyond the works that are unceremoniously jammed down their throats in high school or college.
Titus Andronicus, for example, is the most twisted and beautiful tale of bloody revenge that I have yet read. Stephen King is long-winded, without flair and quite boring to me. Every time I read his works out loud I taste wood chips like I just faceplanted off the slide at daycare.
Yet again, it’s in the application of such things that makes the difference here. If you bring someone into your flat and scamper to the bookshelf with an Ed Wood megaphone announcing this is “MY SHIT AND YOU WILL HAVE SEX WITH ME BECAUSE OF IT,” you’ll have about as much luck as a leper with cerebral palsy or John Lovitz.
October 20th, 2008 on 6:58 am
My gosh, Ben, actually leaping to Shakespeare’s defense? Ok, I grant you, THAT’S impressive. It’s not many people can enjoy the bard without a trace of irony. Do you know any by heart? Please say you do <3
October 20th, 2008 on 7:03 am
By the way, I think it’s easy to get pious about Will and hail him as the best thing ever, but remember that he was writing to get butts on seats.
I read The Two Gentlemen of Verona recently and I have to say it’s not one of his best; he tries to turn the story around from an attempted rape to a happy ending in the space of 50 lines, and doesn’t quite pull it off. Now A Midsummer Night’s Dream, THERE’S a classic. Absolutely magical, and probably my favourite Shakespeare play.
And let’s not forget his poetry :) Heeee
Ok. I concede the point on Shakespeare.
October 20th, 2008 on 7:20 am
@Thiefree: Yes, I know bits by heart. I can recite Aaron’s speech as he’s about to be hanged as well as part of Titus’ woe to the stones. Other bits here and there, but the majority of what I have memorized is from Titus Andronicus. Wow, I almost typed “Tits” instead of “Titus” back there… Freud was right I guess.
I’m not so much pious as I am defensive against people shitting on his name. Doubly so when it’s on my little rock. I feel insulted that anyone in this day and age can look down on Shakespeare when “I Kissed a Girl” tops the charts and “American Idol” is a worldwide sensation. It’s just shit is all, and I’m insulted that after so much time we have not improved but slid so very far backward.
October 20th, 2008 on 9:11 am
I know I’ve said it before, but hell, man - I respect you.
And, apparently, I also agree with you a statistically improbably amount of the time.
I like this rock… this rock is my home. I cling to it amidst storms of facile interactitainment.
October 20th, 2008 on 9:26 am
i would not consider my bookshelf some subtle weapon of seduction. i do not use it to show how ‘worldly’ i am. it is not ridiculously well polished and arranged to impress.
[IMG]http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h160/drunkredneck45/Picture094.jpg[/IMG]
i have books on my bookshelf that i enjoyed reading enough to buy.
October 20th, 2008 on 9:37 am
@DevonBasedMan: You have the luxury of a wonderful collection of books. This is more geared towards the bachelor who is just starting a shelf.
October 20th, 2008 on 6:51 pm
Hey, Ben. I’ll be posting here, now that it’s your active spot.
I’ve never read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, but it sounds pretty interesting.
If I had to recommend one book to you, it would be Illusions: The Adventures Of A Reluctant Messiah. It’s a kind of semi-autobiographical (big, big stretch) tale about Richard, who is a barnstormer. He meets a man, Donald Shimoda, who is a master of the illusions of the world. It’s about the true nature of reality, interpersonal relations, things like that. It sounds like these two books are along the same line of storytelling, save for the metaphysical stuff, and were both written around the same time. I’ll check out your recommendation, if you’ll check out mine.
~Mak
October 20th, 2008 on 6:53 pm
To be fair, Ben, I have. It was 9th grade, and I repeated a few lines of Shakespeare to my girlfriend when we were alone. She giggled, but then tossed it aside. Like me, she was more into the short, to the point, and depressing side to poetry. Not to say Shakespeare isn’t dark at times, but, I’d rather read When We Two Parted by Lord George Gordon Byron, than read Shakespeare (I’m sure most of it has to do with being forced into drowning my thoughts in a cold lake of Shakespeare while in high school, rather than reading him and his work on my own time, for fun).
What would I call them then, Ben? I could tape a sign to a couple of them saying “Glorified Mantelpiece/Trophy-case Junk-drawers”, but I don’t mind just calling them bookshelves…because that is what they are. Bookshelves. I just added a few things to them.
Honestly, if you wanted to know what books I really, truly enjoyed, then you’d check beside my bed or computer. I have about ten books within arms reach of me, that I absolutely adore.
No porn, though. I don’t own a single magazine (Internet), which caused one girl to break up with me. Apparently a man who owns no porn isn’t sexual. Did you know that, Ben?
And why isn’t that in the bible? Or perhaps the -eleven- commandments? “EVERY MAN WILL BUY AT LEAST ONE PORN MAGAZINE OR VHS/DVD, FOR A MAN WHO OWNS NO PORN IS NOT SEXUAL.”
October 20th, 2008 on 7:23 pm
Hahahah that’s ridiculous, your lady clearly wasn’t wise to the ways of the web. My boyfriend doesn’t have any porn mags either, but I’m under no illusions there!
October 20th, 2008 on 9:09 pm
Thiefree, she was anything but wise, kind, and [not] a whore.
You however, are. So about my marriage proposal on Stickam…?
But really, I don’t need e-pr0n or porn mags. I do just fine with other things. I’ve found one doesn’t need a cold shower when they’re free to move about the cabin, so to speak.
Yes I am human, so thankfully I have a girlfriend who is more than willing to help me with my prime problems. Literally…my “prime” problems.
October 20th, 2008 on 10:36 pm
As soon as I learned how to read, I read A LOT of books! Encyclopedias, almanacs, dictionaries, fiction & non-fiction books, comics, newspapers and magazines. I even had a subscription to Reader’s Digest when I was eight years old. Libraries were practically my second home away from home and I would usually sign out 8-10 books per visit.
Now, thanks to the Internet; I don’t even know how to hold a book properly. I prefer to read by staring at a brightly-lit computer screen monitor and it suits me fine. The books I used to read, always seemed to be out-of-date by the time they came off the printing press and it was always a chore to find the correct info. With text online, it can always be updated, corrected and enhanced by reader’s feedback.
You can say that my bookshelf is my computer desk.
October 20th, 2008 on 11:59 pm
I forgot to add, Ben. Thank you for changing the blog ‘poast’ fonts from gray to white.
A cleaner layout and much easier for us “to read”.
October 21st, 2008 on 4:11 am
Ah, the I’m not the only one who was reading Reader’s Digest at eight. Though I wonder if he means the condensed books.
I would also pick up my dad’s old accounting book, and tell my mom I’d do her taxes for her (and for free!)…but after about a week of trying to read it, I got bored, and I went back to playing space ship and NES.
Man…I adored reading when I was little, acting out scenes from the books with my friends, getting gold stars and SUPER READER! stickers never got old either.
Normally I don’t only read in front off of my computer screen. See, when a new movie comes out, I try to pick up a copy of the book it was based on (if it was based on one), and read that. If the book was good, I see the movie. If nothing else, just to whine about how crappy the movie was in comparison to the book.
When I do read online, it’s usually a medical journal that is completely useless to me, or a profoundly boring doctrine, sometimes I settle for something useful…but I do that rarely. ;]
October 21st, 2008 on 5:59 am
@joiywtj: I wished the Reader’s Digests were the brown, leather-clad condensed books, but no, they were the regular, small magazines with Ivory soap and Salem’s cigarette ads. My uncle gave me the subscription as a gift and I remember quite vividly, receiving tons of Reader’s Digest Sweepstakes junk mail on a weekly basis.
Ah, the pitfalls of subscribing to magazines by snail mail. You’re automatically a target to old-school spammers who have full-access to your mailing address!
October 21st, 2008 on 7:35 am
Snail mail is an interesting example of a retronym; it used to be mail but has been retroactively modified to allow for the common usage of email. Another example is the analogue watch.
I heart words. I do.
October 21st, 2008 on 9:04 am
The more recent magazines have had the most interesting looking cartoons on the back of them.
I have probably 20 of those brown, leather-clad condensed books. I haven’t opened any of them in years. They’ve stayed in the most stereotypical room in my house since I’ve moved in.
You know, I’ve actually never heard the term “snail mail” before, except when I was in a military program growing up.
Thiefree is dumping me for words. On the Internet. For everyone to see.
October 21st, 2008 on 2:38 pm
Joiywtj, you knew it had to be this way. How could I ever truly love man when I have no freakin’ idea how to pronounce his name? I’m sorry, I really am.
I’ve known it had to be words ever since I discovered ‘defenestrate.’
October 21st, 2008 on 3:22 pm
Actually my name isn’t meant to be pronounced. Just call me Chefpants, luv.
I’ve loved words since preschool, when I discovered “cataclysmic”…but I still love you more! I can’t hug words! Books…books are cold! I can’t tell them I love them and hear it back, they don’t have heart beats…they can’t speak, or walk, or talk. They may blow my mind, and take me places I’ve never been to before…however, nothing beats a warm hug, and soft skin.
Unless you’re like OzBro. Then leather should suit you just fine.
October 21st, 2008 on 3:42 pm
Oh, by the way, if you want to pronounce it…try “Joy-wuht-jjj”. It wasn’t very difficult. ;D