Brain Poops

Part 1: An American Nightmare

Before this starts, please know that I am, yet again, more than flat broke. I need your help to pick my stupid ass up again out of the financial grave I giggled myself into. Please consider a donation, because this silliness is just too much fun to be brought down by money. ¹

My story is pretty obvious to most people visiting this site, but for anyone happening by here are the cliff notes:
1.) I make tons of mistakes, because I like to learn the hard way. Gives me the stubbornness of an old man at the age of 23.
2.) I state the obvious mainly to find out if I’m the only red-assed baboon laughing at the world trying to “cover their assets”.
3.) I try to find the common denominator between many things in order to understand the whole for the sum of its parts.
4.) I really suck with money.

Let’s start with June of 2008: a magical time where the recession had already started it’s party, yet the whole world was still looking for the recipe to their famous “Oh fuck let’s all panic” artichoke dip. The air was artificially sweetened with Splenda-Fart dreams and the tap water was accidentally enhanced with prescription pollution residue.

I was working as an extra, meaning a metaphorical prostitute for sexually frustrated sadomasochistic cheapskates. I came, I saw, I fake-walked the walk and fake-talked the talk, leaving the sets sweaty and used up. My only regret is not bringing a dresser for them to leave cash on, as opposed to waiting 2-5 weeks for checks.

(continue reading…)