Brain Poops

For your consideration: Bob.

I’m going to tell you something that I’m terrified to believe myself. I am going to write something that, up to this point, has been a personal taboo phrase ever since I was old enough to speak. Something that shakes the very core of me to consider.

Our dads were right.

I don’t expect you to believe me, since it’s universally accepted that it takes the better part of a decade for the ennui and angst of our teenage years to get pissed out of our system like last night’s beer. Teenage rebellion burns long but not forever.

Just take that sentence under the first paragraph and stick it in the back of your mind. Wedge it among the trunks of old memories gathering dust and cultivating cobwebs that you can’t seem to forget but still seldom remember. Bury it in the soft folds of your fuzzy teenage memories with a note saying “Consider this in 5 years, repeat as necessary.”

“Parent-isms” attack like a virus. They lurk dormant in all of us until a triggering event sets the renegade cells in motion. These “Parent-sites” are composed of idioms, parental tics/habits and everything you once thought of as “a waste to know that will never come in handy.”

(continue reading…)