Brain Poops

Every time I hear about the next big breakthrough in graphics or special effects I have this kneejerk reflex that makes me immediately vomit blood for five to seven minutes after. After the incident at E3 some years back, EA Games doesn’t invite me to their annual “Booze-and-Bragfest” cocktail mixers.

For as long as I can remember the movie, television, and video game industries have been “Keeping up with the Joneses” in the realm of delivering a better image of a mousetrap. As Magritte would say, “Ceci n’est pas une Holodeck.”

My main gripe with this industrial game of leapfrog is that we, the little people, tend to get jumped over faster than the next in line. It’s a regular complaint of mine that you can’t buy toilet paper without a better version coming out 4 days later. You are wiping your ass with Quilted v1.5.255d. Upgrade now?

Perhaps it’s me showing my age or my plutonium-grade retroslutism, but I would be thrilled if they went back and really explored the limits of the Sega Genesis. Pixel graphics have so much charm and possibility that I think in the race to the DreamCast it was greatly overlooked. Of course eventually the industry would have had to move forward, but with the speed of technology going obsolete, it’s like buying a ham sandwich that tastes like shit two bites in.

I realize that there’s not a chance that this sort of thing would happen, of course. I guess I’m fulfilling my duty by supplying the retro elitism that is asked for by the Great Sphincter of the Cosmos.

A Prayer to the Great Sphincter of the Cosmos

_by boh3m3

Oh Sphincter, Great Sphincter!
Mighty Clenching Colonmuscle of the Cosmos!
Bless us with your gasseous inspiration,
And lead us not to the creative constipation
that comes when we eat too much Everyday Cheese!
 Amen!