Square One
by boh3m3 on Apr.08, 2009, under Site-Related
It’d be nice to say that for the past two months I’ve been playing naked badminton in the Bahamas with every Playmate of the year since 1992, but sadly that just isn’t the case.
Instead I’ve moved down to Florida, got a job flipping dough at a local pizza place and generally wallowed about just how fucked up I allowed my finances to get. From what I see on the news, it’s nice to know I finally have something in common with the rest of America.
The move itself was a bite in the ass, spending 2 days and 15 hours on a Greyhound bus. I can’t properly describe the feeling of hopeless paranoia and general malaise from that trip… but I’ll give it a shot:
It was as if I was on family vacation to Los Angeles and got lost, only to be picked up by a cadre of ripe gypsies that forced me to pay $200 for the privilege of sitting near their festering, jabbering kin with rest stops at increments just long enough in between to start falling asleep without the satisfaction of a cat nap.
For the first 12 hours or so, I sat next to a man with the eyes of an entry-level serial killer who had a small stockpile of energy drinks in his carry-on. I found no respite in stepping out for a smoke break, since he was more than pleased to follow me off the bus and continue his conversational rape of my attention.
Topics of note with Captain Kill-Em-All
1. How he used to electrocute himself in the morning while he was in construction, and was thus weaned from coffee (also makes zap noise every time “electricity” or related word is said for comedic value).
2. His impressive collection of cell phones and ring tones.
3. The many ways in which he is going to fix the government, after he scores some more pills.
4. “Some day, man… some day I’m gonna get to fuck Chelsea Clinton.”
Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
It was from this energetic and thoroughly unsettling passenger that I learned the most important rule of riding the snake Greyhound: keep your fucking mouth shut. From what I can tell it seems like company policy as well, since there were two gentlemen who almost were left in Arizona for cussing.
That’s right: profanity apparently will get you thrown off a Greyhound bus. Apparently in the most miserable traveling conditions with generally maladjusted passengers crammed into a confined space saying FUCK or SHIT is enough to get you stranded in some godforsaken bus stop. My tongue still has scars from biting back four letter words.
But after finally arriving in Florida and getting to my dad’s place I was greeted with another spicy surprise:
“Wait… where the fuck is my camera?”
My $700 Nikon d40, the love of my photographic life, was either swiped by my landlords, the shady couple that bought a bunch of my stuff from the apartment just before left, or otherwise lost to the ethereal dimension with spare socks.
Suffice it to say I am a little fucking pissed at the powers that be. It’s like I’ve been punched in the sack by fate itself. I’m not alleviating any of my own personal blame in this, but as anyone who is trying to find work right now knows: it’s more fun to shake your fist at the sky than stare into a mirror and scream.
Now I’m left with no car, a fuckton of debt, and a video camera that can’t record to tape for a webcam. To top it all off, this whole situation has bummed me out to where I don’t even feel like recording or animating.
I’m down again, but not out. Just bear with me, as always. I’ll try and get my head straight, but no promises on that happening soon.
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April 8th, 2009 on 10:45 am
After the initial “Holy crap, BEN?” when I saw this post in my reader…
I knew about your camera, and honestly, I’m so gutted for you. I’d be devastated if something happened to mine. You know if I had the pennies I’d send you one tomorrow, but times are hard all over and I haven’t got a job…
Bus people, and the entire culture surrounding bus travel, is one of the most peculiar aspects of the human experience. There’s no good way to enjoy it, but the best way to endure is to shove some earphones in and stare out the window. (It doesn’t matter if you don’t have an mp3 player attached to the earphones. Who’s gonna know?)
I understand the creative slump, but don’t let this beat you. Hang in there, I can be patient.
April 8th, 2009 on 11:35 am
this is so interesting im loving this its like the best reality show ever, man i feel sorry for you i hope you get better i cant wait to see what happens next
April 8th, 2009 on 12:08 pm
Still got you on my feed, bro. I’ll be keepin’ an eye out for whatever you throw out up here.
April 8th, 2009 on 2:40 pm
That camera thing really sucks, Ben. I am sorry. I’m also sorry about your serious money troubles.
Here’s hoping things get better for you as soon as possible
April 8th, 2009 on 4:55 pm
If I knew what to say…I would say it. Im at a loss. Thinking of you. Hoping your next turn around the corner will be better. <3
April 8th, 2009 on 8:57 pm
Be very thankful that the annoying fellow Greyhound passenger, “Captain Kill-Em-All”, was relatively harmless compared to what happened on July 31, 2008 in Brandon, Manitoba, Canada. After that incident; bus passengers can seem a bit anxious on extremely long trips in the middle of nowhere.
Sorry about the loss of your camera and thank you for posting again here on Brain Poops.
April 8th, 2009 on 9:41 pm
-insert grief/remorse here- :[ . If I could I would. And if I were in your position I would have failed. You’re doing great, now that’s all left to do is make grape juice from lemons. :D My favorite quote - “When life gives you lemons, make grape juice; Sit back, relax, and let the world wonder how the fuck you did it.” That’s you Ben, impress us all.
April 9th, 2009 on 5:25 am
Yeah Ben, I was gonna say at least you didn’t get beheaded.
What’s next for you? You can’t stay down forever. Get off your ass and grab life by the balls - that’s the Ben I know from YouTube years gone by. :)
April 9th, 2009 on 11:00 am
Shit Ben, you should of kept the camera tucked down your pants, man. Truely shit.
You said your Birthday is coming up didn’t you? maybe us 3m3′ers could help towards a new one I’d be more than happy to help!
April 9th, 2009 on 11:39 am
Hey Sweetie. I am so happy to hear something from you. I was worried about you. I lost my phone so I didn’t have your phone number anymore, but I have been thinking about you and hoping that you were okay. Believe me, I understand what you are going through. Remember my silly jount around the country where I lost all of my posessions? Ugh. It took a long time to get my dignity back from all of that. I had to come back to Huntsville with no car, no furniture…nothing. Please call me. I miss you. I love you. Beena
April 9th, 2009 on 7:09 pm
Thanks for the update Ben, good to know you’re still alive, down, but alive. The camera thing bites. And the economy’s kicking our collective asses, but if we pull through, we’ll have a hell of a story to tell at the end, right? Keep the mases updated.
April 9th, 2009 on 8:39 pm
Awsome to hear from you sir! If you want my shitty camera I’ll gladly donate it lol (it’s no Nikon, but it barely gets the job done). Can’t wait to see what you come up with next even if I have to wait.
Good Luck!
April 11th, 2009 on 7:12 pm
Glad you finally updated. 15 years ago, I was where you now are - broke, in debt, and left with nothing. My valuable lesson learned….patience. It takes time to rebuild and get things on track again.
April 11th, 2009 on 7:18 pm
Sometimes I compare the difficult moments in my life to midnight.
At midnight, the sun is on the other side of the earth. Somewhere it’s providing warmth and light and nourishment to those who have already kept watch all night for the dawn. It is the darkest hour of my day, so dark that it envelops the world around me. But despite the desolateness of night, I take hope and find strength in remembering that- without fail- dawn will come. As long as I am alive to see it, I will always be able to take comfort in that.
Best wishes, brother. If there was more I could do to help, I would.
April 12th, 2009 on 5:10 am
Holy Crap Bags! You’re alive. Its a relief to hear from you regardless of the pretty crappy news. Hope you can pick yourself up soon.
April 14th, 2009 on 5:46 pm
Sigh. We’re so loyal. You don’t deserve us, you know! Lovely people, all offering you money without expecting (or getting) anything in return…
Anyway. Hope to hear from you again soon.
April 14th, 2009 on 8:22 pm
I’m glad to hear from you again! I’m sorry about your financial situation, and the camera, but look on the bright side, at least you found a job, right? Just keep trying, you’ll get your head straight. You’ve been a great influence to me in terms of film making and how I view the world over the years, and know you can make it through your problems.
Wish you luck,
Thorn2200
April 17th, 2009 on 5:43 am
I like Mikey’s idea, about helping to buy you a new camera. We should be able to dish out some money before the 15th of June…
April 22nd, 2009 on 6:39 am
i mean…. i have my old flip up that just plugs directly into the computer after you’re done with it. it’s kind of shitty though but i could send it out to a po box or something as a temp.
April 24th, 2009 on 2:27 am
So. Many. Dreams. Ugh, I wouldn’t have minded if they were sexyful, but we mostly just talked. LEAVE ME ALONE, Beemer, it is NOT RATIONAL for you to make it to Britain within ten minutes of a text.
April 26th, 2009 on 2:20 pm
I feel bad that it took me so long to figure out you posted again! Anways. I’m so sorry that your life has not been working out very well. I’m barely hanging on to my job, and i hate it as it is. I think i’d flip if i found out any of my cameras were missing. Like, FLIP. I’d be throwing hissy fits all over the place.
Anyways, can’t wait to see what awesomeness comes out of you once you’ve settled down. I’ve always got faith in you, Ben.
April 27th, 2009 on 5:26 pm
Jesus, one damn thing to another, eh? You’ll be fine — and if worse comes to worse, join your rabid fanbase in Canada… xD
I’m glad to head about the job, but I’m sure we’ll all mourn the loss of your camera.
Best of luck,
-Tophat
April 29th, 2009 on 11:53 am
BO BO?
May 4th, 2009 on 11:30 pm
I is so confused. Do you wantz pity? I thniks not. Do you want help? Perrhaps. Maybe you should just be happy you have a normal life. It’s not all that bad you know.
May 8th, 2009 on 9:29 am
boh3m3 do a 2-3 min vlog, no editing, how hard can that be ? :D i really wanna know what youve been up to lately
May 8th, 2009 on 12:41 pm
Been a long month without any updates man :(. Just a little hey hello would do once in a while. The world needs you.
May 9th, 2009 on 6:08 am
Please Ben, the virus on my computer and I would really like to know where you’ve been, and what you’ve been up to. I realize it’s not you obligation to tell us, but it would be nice if you filled us in sometime soon.
Misses you D:
<3
(It’s just guy love)
May 10th, 2009 on 1:36 pm
http://www.yooouuutuuube.com/v/?rows=16&cols=16&id=CShUgosA37s&startZoom=1
I guess this is my way of saying I miss ya ;)
Don’t vanish forever or I’ll always wonder what happened to you.
May 15th, 2009 on 1:11 am
Ha! Anna you make me chuckle in the best of ways. Ben whenever you get a chance to lurk around on the webbernetz let us know how your mind is wandering through the desolace of life (like that didn’t sound depressing).
May 16th, 2009 on 11:48 am
GUESS WHAT HAPPENED TO ME TODAY?
The police came knocking at my door! Some chick I’ve never heard of/seen before accused me of raping her
May 16th, 2009 on 2:20 pm
CHEFPANTS YOU ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO CONTACT. I’m online, buttedge, get on MSN!
May 17th, 2009 on 2:07 am
Why don’t you just send me an e-mail sometime and update me on where you are/what you’re doing? I get on MSN often but I never see you on. It’s depressing. Well, maybe I don’t get on MSN often, but damn near every time I’m at home…which still isn’t a lot, especially now that my parents think I’m a rapist. I try to avoid them ;]
I <3 you Anna
May 17th, 2009 on 3:36 am
I did! I did email you! D: <- DESPAIRING FACE
May 17th, 2009 on 11:13 am
…TO MY E-MAIL TO SEARCH FOR THE LONG LOST ANNA-MAIL
May 21st, 2009 on 12:06 pm
I wish all the best for you, Ben.
It’s too bad you’re not in the Orlando area, otherwise I’d try and help you out. Take care of yourself and keep us updated.
May 25th, 2009 on 8:26 pm
Hey man, Hope you’re okay and stuff. Been watching you for a while. Life has a way of kicking you in the teeth, and things can be rough. But, it also has a way of lifting you up and granting amazing opportunities, as well. It’s just a matter of small steps in the right direction. Your videos were always awesome. Can’t wait to see you roar back.
May 26th, 2009 on 7:27 pm
Fuck dude, I’m sorry to hear about your camera. I’ll see if I can get some money your way when I get payed, life is tough man but you got people here that care about ya.
‘Take it easy, and if she’s easy, take her twice.’
May 27th, 2009 on 4:51 pm
Hey fucker. Where are you? We miss you! Hope you are okay.
June 7th, 2009 on 2:12 pm
I guess he’s gone for good.
http://www.butterfliesthemovie.com/characters.html
Well, at least @Walthamstone et al are still alive and kicking on Twitter, if you guys are interested!
June 8th, 2009 on 2:12 am
Please come back sir. :(
June 8th, 2009 on 6:04 pm
I’m saddened by that apparent news.
June 10th, 2009 on 5:00 am
Ben, I’ve seriously watched ALL your videos from the very beginning with the first shady webcam filmed movie reviews up to such masterpieces as ”Cinder”, and now I’m reading all your written stuff.
All I want to say is THANK YOU for showing me the three last years of your life and inspiring me to do and make shit I never would have thought of.
My favourite ”famous” people:
Joe Rogan
Tom Green
Steve-O
Ben Going
June 12th, 2009 on 12:30 am
Dang dude, I knew you needed to take a break etc. But you’ve pretty much left any fans you had left in the dark.
We all have to move and sometimes we have to start over. But that’s certainly no reason to give up on expressing your artistic and or sadistic ideas.
Despite the fact that you seem to have abandoned all of this, I still check your YT page etc for an update. Throw us a bone will ya? Just talk to the camera and tell us what’s on your mind. :P That’s what grew your fan base in the first place!
June 13th, 2009 on 4:07 am
Jesus Christ, Ben. What the fuck is with you ditching all of us? I mean, I get we’re not your friends or anything, but -we- care about you. It would be nice if you’d at least let us know you didn’t shoot yourself in the head
June 14th, 2009 on 4:20 pm
Happy birthday, B… Come back soon x x x
June 15th, 2009 on 2:20 pm
Happy Birthday dude. Try to enjoy yourself.
June 15th, 2009 on 2:43 pm
Happy birthday, sweet cheeks. Hope you’re getting laid
June 16th, 2009 on 8:05 pm
happy belated donkey lips! mine was on the 14th and I also had strangers congratulating me all day.
June 17th, 2009 on 8:49 am
Haha cool Dollzhut my birthday is today. June is over populated with boh3m3ness.
June 22nd, 2009 on 2:38 am
This query is months late, but, just for the sake of curiousity, did you attend megacon? (I’m only asking because if not, your twin did, and it was thoroughly confusing.)
June 23rd, 2009 on 9:32 am
At some point this domain is going to expire, because my guess is that Ben won’t be renewing. Anyone got any bright ideas for boh3m3.net? It’d be kinda sad just to let some douchetard get it and fill it with ads.
June 23rd, 2009 on 3:37 pm
It doesn’t expire until November. If Ben doesn’t want to keep it registered, I’d be happy to keep it registered and free of any douchetards.
June 24th, 2009 on 2:01 pm
I think we can all go home folks. Nothing left to see here.
June 24th, 2009 on 7:20 pm
Wow, he has a new post on his twitter. Short, but I think it tells us quite a bit.
June 24th, 2009 on 11:50 pm
Yeah. Like, he’s not dead. Hasn’t developed internetophobia. Is a massive twat for not updating his blog. ;)
June 25th, 2009 on 9:46 am
What’s his twitter? His contact link is messed up it links it to his stickam.
June 25th, 2009 on 10:51 am
@boh4m4.
http://www.twitter.com/boh4m4
July 4th, 2009 on 9:33 am
Why would you Twit and not blog. I thought this site was making money from the ads. Albeit 5 cent probably…but…without traffic…
Just Wondering…
Happy 4th all ya’ll. :p
July 7th, 2009 on 6:03 pm
His tweet says alot. The ’sad’ thing about this is I think he jumped of the youtube wagon too soon. Maybe this wasn’t voluntary (money related? probably but i’m just speculating here). But it’s a known fact that making and editing videos takes up alot of (precious) time. But if he would somehow have pulled through I honestly don’t think he would have had to work two jobs now. Just look at sXephil if you even can compare them at ’some’ level. (sorry if this comparison offends you boh3m3 - i know you have had an argument with him)
July 9th, 2009 on 1:43 am
oh, bobo, now look what you’ve done, first youtube, now california. when will you stop? would you at least come back to CA if we made you some red velvet cupcakes? i know that’s more of a southern dessert, but it’s usually irresistible to most people who like food. :)
July 9th, 2009 on 9:16 pm
i been watching awhile there ben, i even helped pay for your move out to california (i was rich enough then to share the load) cant offer any money help now but can offer what little random moral support there is to offer, goodluck on your path of life!
July 12th, 2009 on 4:14 pm
Wow, Ben. This is probably going to be the last time I check your website. I hope someone else buys it. I think right now, you’re the only douchetard who owns it.
July 12th, 2009 on 4:53 pm
Heheh I know it’s fun to say douchetard, but FWIW I think he’s made the right choice… the whole Boh3m3 thing was fun, and it played a role for all of us, but obv that role’s over now. And I’ve gotta try not to be a whiny bitch about it.
But Ben, so help me God if your next post is just another self-pityfest followed by months of silence, I will hunt your ass DOWN. We deserve better than that.
July 14th, 2009 on 1:04 pm
I ♥ you, Anna. I somehow had a feeling you’d reply to my comment. I think “Boh3m3″ was a person. Ben really put himself into the essence of Boh3m3.
I’m mainly whining because he’s such a cold asshole. I wouldn’t be surprised if he doesn’t even check his website any more. Bitches about other people ditching him, then ditches all of us.
Dingleberry -_-
>.>
<.<
July 19th, 2009 on 9:29 pm
Time to whip out the soapbox.
I know you all have your reasons for wanting him to come back but all this whining is getting ridiculous.
Personally, I would be royally fed up with youtube if I had thousands of people alternating between obsessing over me or insulting me; harassing me if I asked for donations (Which is what filmmakers DO btw. They ask for money. ALL of them. And if you spend 200 dollars on someone you barely know to send them across the United States expect to lose the damn money. You don’t need to take finance to work that one out and you shouldn’t get indignant about it. That’s why its a DONATION.) getting pissy when I didn’t lay out my dirty laundry for the whole damn world to see and calling me ridiculously stupid names. That would PISS me off.
He’s a talented kid with a lot to talk about but he doesn’t owe it to the world to share it. In fact, he doesn’t owe us a thing. The cold hard fact of the matter is that your professional relationship to this kid is 0. You may have known him personally, met him once, or simply just interested in his stuff, but you have no right to ask him to do jack shit. You’re not producers. You’re fans. You consume. That makes a world of difference. Whatever your opinion is of him, it means nothing professionally because you are NOT producers.
So basically, you can either STFU or GTFO. If he starts up again, great. If he doesn’t, OH WELL. Tough bongos. The world won’t erupt into flames because Boh3m3 isn’t around to talk about the heat.
July 20th, 2009 on 5:50 am
Alright love, keep yer pants on. I don’t think you can tell people what another person ’should’ mean to them. You don’t know how significant that person was in their life, or what impact they had.
For what it’s worth, you should EXPECT whining. This site is where people who miss Ben will COME. That seems self-evident. I’m not sure what you were expecting to find.
I see your point, and have nothing whatsoever against you personally, but your comment seemed excessively annoyed over quite a trivial matter.
July 20th, 2009 on 2:10 pm
I find it ironic that you, thiefree, respond to my comment when you are one of the last people my point is directed towards. While you have mostly expressed yourself diplomatically and agreeably in the blog posts most of the rest of the fanbase has not. Take a look at the comments section of the vids. It’s disgusting how people can get when they see someone having a hard time. They are so resentful and accusatory and most of them have never even met the guy. I appreciate you sticking up for people who have been positively affected by all this but to me enough is enough. We dont own him and it’s not our business to know what he does to the degree that we get insulted when he doesn’t post something up every time he sneezes.
July 20th, 2009 on 3:24 pm
Yeah, that’s fair enough dollzhut. I can see both sides of that argument, I switch sides several times a day myself after all ;)
July 20th, 2009 on 11:12 pm
Would somebody please think of the children!!!!!
July 21st, 2009 on 8:10 am
lolz, preCISEly
July 22nd, 2009 on 5:48 am
Dollzhut… It’s funny, you bitch as much as the people you’re bitching about
July 22nd, 2009 on 5:51 am
And seriously, Dollzhut…”every time he sneezes”? It’s been three months, nearly four since he last posted on here. We’re not looking for a sneeze, we’re looking for “Hey, I still appreciate you guys.”, rather than Ben’s substantial, constant kicks in the face
July 22nd, 2009 on 9:37 am
Chefpants, how will that end well. C’mon now. Also, why are you never on MSN! It’s been forever!
July 22nd, 2009 on 3:45 pm
I gotta agree with joiywtj, all I want is a, “Hey,I still give a damn about you guy’s,” or even an official, “Screw you guys, I’m going home,” I wanna know if it’s still worth my time checking this site anymore.
July 22nd, 2009 on 10:09 pm
you’re only proving my point joi.
July 23rd, 2009 on 5:24 pm
Ben! Wake up!
July 24th, 2009 on 5:34 am
Actually, no I am not. I’m disproving it pretty easily, learn to read and comprehend.
Anna, I’m looking for a good debate. I’ve been in awful spirits as of late. I also don’t much care about Dollzhut’s opinion of me, but I hate stupid, and I’m on an eternal quest to correct stupid! @_@
I’m never on MSN because I had my computer formatted recently. The idiot who did it gave me an invalid version of Windows, so I can’t install the newer MSN, and I hate the MSN that comes with computers! If you want to talk, however, I will get on. It is very much worth it for you :]
July 24th, 2009 on 9:38 am
bore someone else with your nonexistent self awareness joi.
July 24th, 2009 on 2:38 pm
Go fuck your mom Dollzhut, she misses you.
WOULDN’T IT BE HILARIOUS IF I WERE TRULY SO IMMATURE?
But anyway, it’s so so apparent I don’t bore you. If I truly bored you, you wouldn’t reply to me. Stop lying to everyone, Dollzy-Poo.
Anna is going to kill me for this one
July 24th, 2009 on 6:06 pm
Damn, I was hoping for a reply. I finally had some entertainment on here. I think you, Dollzy-Poo, take it way too seriously. Try to relax a bit more
July 26th, 2009 on 5:24 pm
nice to know you sat and waited 3 hours for me to respond, because that’s not very weird.
i’m not going to spam the real fans’s feeds anymore though. no more until boh3m3 makes an appearance. honestly though, looking at the quality of some of his fans, combined with the prevalence of the haters in his vid comments, I think it’s better for his sanity if he doesn’t for a long time.
July 27th, 2009 on 6:04 am
Urban dictionary word of the day: weenis. Ha
July 27th, 2009 on 6:04 am
Urban dictionary word of the day: weenis. Ha
August 5th, 2009 on 4:18 am
ADD strikes and stabs you in the heart…With all the freedom it gives…ADD can take away your peace of mind and all your possessions over and over again…It happened to me when i was your age…It may happen again…When you have a mind like that you never grow up and you never grow old.
August 5th, 2009 on 11:50 pm
Ahhh, isn’t life craptastic? Sounds like my life right now. I’m trying to get back on my feet too. And here come spring, I too will be making the move from here in West Virginia (thanks to my ex who made me homeless, and thanks for some very good friends who are giving me a place to stay!) back to sunny ole’ Florida. Destin, FL, to be exact. I hope things work out for ya’, I’ll be rootin’ for ya’!
August 12th, 2009 on 7:08 pm
You still alive?
August 14th, 2009 on 5:29 pm
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=132960865029&ref=mf
Haaaaah.
August 16th, 2009 on 9:23 pm
Dollzhut, you are one cocky mofo, aren’t you? It’s really cute. I bet your mom just adores her little booboolah.
So…funny story. My dog ate one of my hamsters today.