Potterphilia
by boh3m3 on Jul.21, 2007, under Rants
Ok. I admit everything.
One Christmas not so long ago I was given the first Harry Potter book which, after a polite “thank you auntie-whoever-you-are”, I refused to so much as look at for the next few months. Fortunately… Unfortunately… Some time later I decided to give it a once over.
And from then on I was hooked.
Now I can’t say I fell full force into the abyss-like state of slobbering Potter fan-boy-ism, but I definitely enjoyed the books and could almost understand why kids and adults alike turned into drooling literary fiends at the release of each subsequent book. What confuses me still is the lengths to which fans will go to get their ocular injection of Rowling’s Potterjuice.
I’m a little ashamed to admit that I went to the release “party” for Deathly Hallows, if for no other reason than my metaphorical rape of the gibbering masses waiting outside the Borders off of Torrance Blvd. If you’re reading that last sentence more than once, you’re likely not alone. Let me explain…
No? You don’t want an explanation? Well fuck off! I don’t see another person writing on this page yet, so you’ll just have to suffer.
I zipped to the store at about 12:45 Pacific just in time to see the swelling crowd of Potterphiles [Harryfiends? Potter-heads?] milling about in a haphazard line extending around the building. A quick couple of steps through the door led me to a check-in counter distributing pieces of flair colored wristbands representing which group would be able to line up first. I grabbed my “Gryffindor Gold” wristband and scuttled to the back of the line, where the parking lot ended and pure darkness began. Or maybe I just was bummed that a co-worker had spotted me. Fucking hell.
So She-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named introduced me to this pizza faced cottonball-haired dude who was tweaked the hell out on what seemed like Ecstasy. He introduced himself and I sort of spaced out and took in the scene. I’d like to say I drank it all in, but I hear drinking socially awkward mobs of people is fatal, or at least avoided at all costs.
Everyone was donned with thier own little wristband, some selling their spots in line for what they were hoping was a sure shot at a ludicrous amount of money. One rather scary dude was offering his spot for $50. Read that again. That’s right. Fif… tee. That’s food for a week, a nice date on the town, two dvds, maybe a bribe for a cheap politician… For a fucking spot in line. I don’t know if it’s worse that he was selling for that much or that later I saw someone else in his spot, sans “Fitty Dollah” sign.
The more die-hard [though if any were with a vengeance it would have been aimed at hygiene] fans showed up in costume, regulation Sharpie-inked scars and knock-off glasses being the in-vogue items of the night. Still others got into the frenzy of the mood and had a mock ritual for “the dark lords victory in the final book.” The press calls it “lighthearted street theatrics.” Yeah, I’m sure that’s what the goat was thinking, too.
So I snap out of the hazy stare I had adopted to realize I was involved in a conversation I knew nothing about. The people I was standing around with seemed to be waiting on a response from me, so I made up some crap about Nargles and Pestrils. It was about 6 or 7 minutes in that… The Stranger approached.
Ok, actually it was just some dude walking up to the store with a box in his hands, but stick with me here.
So the guy walks up to us and asks if we want to buy a copy of the book for 20 bucks. Says he has three left over and before he could say “snickey snackey left-nut” I’ve got a 20 in his hand and one of his copies in mine. Fearing a massive riot of pointy sticks and butchered Latin phrases, I walked off without a goodbye or a backwards look and sped home.
In the grand scheme of things, getting people around the world to read is good no matter what. The Harry Potter franchise will stand hand in hand with greats such as Playboy, Penthouse and Hustler [if the common plea of "But honey, I just bought it for the articles!" is to be believed]. But of course, like the Bible, The Constitution, and Macaron Chacaron by El Mudo, the text of the Harry Potter books will always be taken into skewed interpretations by the oceans of meatbags that hop from bandwagon to bandwagon, hoping to someday take the reins.
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July 22nd, 2007 on 8:05 pm
For someone who doesnt read alot of books that was hard to read lol :( oh wait, I just read it all again and hahah @ this part ” I’d like to say I drank it all in, but I hear drinking socially awkward mobs of people is fatal, or at least avoided at all costs.”
anyways i thought id just put my 2 bobs in… i have never read or seen the movies of harry potter…. its not because im anti the latest craze, its because i actually dont read books… even the ones im supposed to read for uni (sorry collage…) i buy and might read the first chapter but thats it… im lazy… however, not doing alot of reading does decrease my vocabulary (see my longest word yet) and decrease my general knowledge…
sorry just realised im rambling…. so hi and bye :)
July 23rd, 2007 on 9:29 am
haha ` michelle… boh3m3, good to see you have such literate readers (ironic!) of your blog! hahaha anyway man, much love from japan
July 23rd, 2007 on 2:06 pm
Yes, I too suffered the cult-like impact of Harry Potter and am not ashamed of it….. although I wouldn’t yell it off the rooftops
July 23rd, 2007 on 9:31 pm
ha. you think going to a harry potter party is bad…
i threw one.
hahaha.
… my boss made me plan it i swear!
kinda…
:)
July 23rd, 2007 on 10:04 pm
Booooo Harry Potter. I can’t stand the little bastard. I was disappointed to hear he didn’t get his ass killed in the last book. I haven’t seen anything beyond the third movie or read anything beyond the first book.
And I thought you were COOL, Boh3m3.
Well, you still have some points.
:P
July 24th, 2007 on 9:27 am
http://encyclopediadramatica.com/The_Great_Deathly_Hallows_IRL_Raid_of_2007
July 26th, 2007 on 1:07 am
i like to read Harry Potter, but, in my defense, I’m not pre-ordering or anything [no Potter party for me], and I read A LOT of books anyway… great rant boh3m3!
July 29th, 2007 on 11:17 pm
So, have you started it yet?
I just finished it a couple days ago.
I just can’t believe it’s over :\
July 30th, 2007 on 12:04 am
That’s why I pre-ordered my book for 17.99. Didn’t have to wait in line or deal with crazy people, and it arrived Saturday afternoon.
July 30th, 2007 on 3:09 am
I stopped reading since the 5th book, man i should read them (i have them all, just they’re collecting dust)
July 30th, 2007 on 4:11 am
haha, I went to the party too…some bitch guessed my future and said I would get married 323 times, and the kids looked at me funny because I wasn’t dressed up like fucking Harry Potter…can you believe that?lol. ah well…I still love the books, I’m just not a maniac
July 30th, 2007 on 7:18 am
As some or None of you know I am Thowell3 from Youtube. And I thought I would Give my 2 Cents of The Whole Harry Potter Franchise. Personaly I think Its Gotten a little Out of hand. Althou I admit it now that Before I started Growing my Hair for canser I Did look like Harry Potter.Just look at some of my Early Videos to see that. But Now that I no longer look like him I would like to Point Out some things about those Books. I was fairly Young when these Books were started and My Mum would read them to me and my Older sisters. But then when the 5th book came out I was about 14 or 15 so I thought I would Try reading it. Big Mistake. I my Opnion the 5th book is such a boring book its like its bin written as a Movie Screen Play and I almost completly Lost all intrest in that book after finending out exactly what happends in the book becasue I was To lazy to read that book(Althow I did see the movie). I am still trying to fined the time to read the 6th book and the 7th. even thow I know how the 7th Book ends with 19 years later. I pray to God that J.K. Rolling dosent make a Crapy Spin off like she had bin talking about. Shes made all the money she can off the books. and Should get ready for all the money she is going to get of the next 2 movies. With a Cast thats going threw Puberty faster then they can make the movies. Thats All I really have to say at this time……. Cya in cyber space - Thowell3
July 30th, 2007 on 7:26 am
I went to the Deathly Hallows party at Barnes and Noble simly because I’d gone to the last too, and I’d have much rather stayed home. The line for STARBUCKS was so long people were waiting outside. And then I had something like an hour and a half wait, my legs nearly fell off, and I nearly threw up. The next morning I learned that Target had a nice large stock of the books.
Harry Potter is great, but sometimes it’s easier to not bother.
July 30th, 2007 on 8:26 am
Hard as I try, I can not imagine you, Boh3m3, going to one of those potter gatherings. I pride myself on never having been to one. I am a fan of the books though, even though I try not to admit it in public. I really hate the amazing press the books get, it’s ridiculous that some people read these things as if they were the Bible. I have nothing against the potter fans, but I sure hope that you didn’t wear a costume to the stupid gathering. Although, those would be some funny pictures.
July 30th, 2007 on 9:04 am
Hahaha love the Nintendo64 pic ==> HARRY POTTER 4!
Harry potter is…so fucking annoying yet I like to read and watch the movie. Don’t ask. I think I just hate the hype over it. Man, it’s just a fictional character. Argh.
July 30th, 2007 on 10:21 am
I preordered the book. No crazy Harry Potter fans and no chance for it to get spoiled for me by ebaumsworld fags. After reading the book though, watching people at the parties spoiling the books was truly hilarious.
July 30th, 2007 on 10:28 am
I have a 10 year old in my house (step-daughter) so inevitably I have at least a working knowledge of the Harry Potter world. It’s not all bad, but I have always said that it’s the fans that make or break a book/show/movie in terms of geekdom. Harry Potter seems to be right up there with the Rocky Horror goers and Star Trek/Wars fanatics in terms of dressing the scary greasy and sometimes down right inhumane part. Personally, I’m just glad that TheKid has enough relatives about that I have never had to lay hard earned cash down to get her any of the texts or paraphernalia. -TheLuggage
July 30th, 2007 on 11:02 am
I didn’t go to a release..even thought I’m a potter-nerd (and at 22 thats kinda embarrassing) because I knew people were going to be trying to ruin the ending for the fans.
and lo and bhold the barnes and nobles I would have gone to, had about 4 cars drive by around midnight, yelling out who died and all that jazz.
…kinda jacked since some of the people who read these books have been reading em since 6-7 years of age.
July 30th, 2007 on 12:09 pm
I erm… was one of those crazed fans at a party that night, sorry. (I also went to the Half-Blood Prince party two years ago.) Yes, I did dress up; yes, I did bring a 30-dollar wooden stick (I’d rather call it a wand); yes, I did read about a quater of it in Walmart (I was caught jumping up and down in the frozen food section as my favorite couple FINALLY kissed); and yes, I did finish it at around 3 PM on July 22. Booyah. And I call them/it “Potterites” and “Pottermania”.
July 30th, 2007 on 12:36 pm
This is why people should just be smart and wait two days after the release so they can buy it at Target for $17. At least that is what I did.
I don’t understand the concept of being somewhere at the crack of ‘why-the-fuck-am-I-awake’ to read a book. I’ll be honest, I’m reading it, and enjoying it. But who gives a rat’s ass if you read it before everyone else?
July 30th, 2007 on 12:52 pm
I, too, must admit I read the Harry Potter books. Initially I had stated I’d never read them and that was mainly because of the hype and the fact they were aimed at young kids. After 4 of the books had been released I happened to get handed the first book and read it for the heck of it assuming that I’d get a few pages in and quit. I didn’t. I ended up reading books 1-4 in 4 days. I had made an assumption that the reading level would be far below my interest. I was pleasantly surprised. I wouldn’t consider myself a Potterphile, however. I just enjoy reading.
The series was not the hardest stuff in the world to read but it’s thoroughly enjoyable and Rowling does a beautiful job of bringing to life a world that doesn’t exist. It hardly compares to ‘The Rise & Fall of the Third Reich’ or ‘War & Peace’ but we shouldn’t always be reading serious books either. I think of the ‘Harry Potter’ series of books as a ‘Lord of the Rings’ series for younger kids.
As for waiting in line for the party. Um, Boh3m3, you are nuts and I mean that in the nicest possible way. Although I do suppose it would be something to take in from a sociological perspective. The last thing I want to deal with to get the latest book is a mob of screaming irritating kids - I don’t hate kids but I do hate kids who have parents that don’t keep an eye on them and I hate the parents even more - or, even worse, someone my own age (34) who is dressed up. People like that make my skin crawl. Although, I suppose if I did dress up I’d be a Dementor to scare the kids. Yeah, I’m cruel. Sue me. The eve of the release of ‘Deathly Hallows’ I relaxed, went out and enjoyed a typical Friday night and awoke to the book on my front step at 11 AM.
The book had good points and bad points and is a fitting end to the series. Hats off the J.K. Rowling for creating something so imaginative and captivating that it has enthralled both children and adults all the world.
July 30th, 2007 on 1:39 pm
You go to that borders by the mall too? Ive always found it funny that they had a Barnes and Noble a block away from borders. But its convenietnt as hell if one place doesnt have something that the other does, But thats a rare occasion.
July 30th, 2007 on 3:00 pm
I watch your videos on YouTube regularly, and would never have guessed you’d be into Potter in the least. Very suprised you went to a release party, and even though I have been a huge fan of the books for about eightish years, I’ve never been. Usually I see a if not complete, then a kinda-sorta reasoning, to your ramblings. And don’t get me wrong, I think your amusing and follow your occasionally incoherant bitching. But I am confused as to what this was all about. You’re pissed about the fact so many people like the Potter series and you think it is just a overgrown mass of “slobbering”, “drooling” fan-boy-ism? And “the lenghths to which fans will go” to get their books? Um, isn’t this whole thing about you standing in line to get latest Potter book. Well, Boheme dear, why you are confused about “the lentghs” people go to to get said book confuses me when you yourself were standing alongside the “Potterphiles”. The fact that you’d go, even though you sped off early, says you’re enough of a fan to drag your ass there. So why knock those (the ones with capes and marker on there foreheads) when its obvious that’s the kinda crowd an event like that is going to attract. If I’m simply not getting what you were trying to say, even though I’m pretty sure I get the point, theeeennn, oh well I suppose.
July 30th, 2007 on 3:53 pm
Don’t be ashamed! I know a lot of people are negative about the release parties and HP in general, but we’re talking about a series that, as you said, has encouraged so many people to read more. What’s so wrong about celebrating literacy, and a book… especially the final book in a series that has taken the world by storm? Shouldn’t be anything wrong there. It doesn’t make you less awesome or less intelligent. It’s all just good fun.
We “crazies” do what we want, and if that means going to a bookstore at midnight and waiting in a line full of other costumed crazies for a great book and/or skipping out with a copy :P so be it!
So anyway, rock on. Oh and I think the blog is great. I hope you continue to write and of course make videos.. when you have the time.
July 30th, 2007 on 5:26 pm
I didnt get the book the day it came out. my dad hadnt gotten paid yet so we didnt have any money, im glad we waited a week because i got it 40% off. patience is a virtue, ^_^. i havnt read it yet, im about a fourth of the way through. I havnt read a book in awhile but when i started reading i relized how much i dont like her writing style. it doesnt give enough detail and stuff. oh well. i have to keep reading because ive got to find what happens. school starts soon though so i should get it done quickly, i’d like to finish it BEFORE i die. im starting my freshman year in highschoo …oh god kill me now! >_
August 12th, 2007 on 8:39 am
I fell into the scary depths of Harry Potter first when I moved to the UK. Someone told me that reading was a good way to improve my vocabulary and that made sense to me. I thought childrens litterature would be a good first step for me, being a foreigner and all that. So I found my way to the next bookstore and bought the first Harry Potter book, as they were the obvious choice for someone looking for something easy to read. BAM! I was hooked, I read the first five books in a week, but I’d like to say in my defence that I was stuck in a little hellhole called Basingstoke for ten days before my move to the city (that city being Southampton).
It was true, reading does indeed help increasing vocabulary. After all this reading I could have good conversations with people about… MAGIC! Yeah, that helped me alot, not only was I the weird icelanic girl that just moved there (having to answer lots of questions about volcanos and igloos), no, I went on about cauldrons and wands, different kinds of spells, the whole works.
Good start of conversation; “Sooo.. Cauldrons these days eh? Not the same as they used to be.. err.. *awkward*”
Luckely at this point someone interdused me to Chuck Palahniuk (Fight Club, Survivor, Choke, Lullaby…) and I got back on track with relativly “normal” conversations. That someone probably fed up with the fucking icelander stuck in her little magic world.
Allthoug one could argue that conversations on choking in restaurants aren’t too helpfull when trying to make friends.
Yep, that was my random input.
Take care.
-Steinunn, Iceland
August 17th, 2007 on 3:31 pm
I’ve been a Potter fan ever since the first book came out, I was 13 years old…I’m 20 now. My father bought it for me, he thought it was a good way to interest me into reading, truth is I have always liked to read, at that age I had already read a couple of books, since I’m latin I had read like a couple of Isabel Allende’s books, but I think it really was good for me to have been presented with Harry Potter because it was something a little more appropiate to my age. I have enjoyed all books, but the fifth is definitely the one
August 17th, 2007 on 4:04 pm
I’ve been a Potter fan ever since the first book came out, I was 13 years old…I’m 20 now. My father bought it for me, he thought it was a good way to interest me into reading, but I had already read a couple of books like Isabel Allende’s ”House of the Spirits”. I have enjoyed every book, not he fifth though, and my favorite is the sixth, I think that all the books have a lot of unexpected last minute events that save Harry from a fatal accident, etc. But anyways, I really enjoyed them and it feels rather wierd to know that it has ended. I am happy I didn’t have to stand those guys that were spoiling the book for the people who were in line to get their book, I preordered it, there’s no Barnes & Noble in my country..I think that the book was available only in one bookstore and there were only 50 copies of the book. ohh well, Harry Potter is cool hehe :)
August 18th, 2007 on 9:19 am
I sympathize with you about the crappy movies flowing out of Hollywood like diarrhea of the mind, or is it constipation of the mind due to lack of ideas? Anyway it seems the best talent in both writing and producing seems to be in television, The Shield is a cop show that breaks all the standards of a cop show, The Daily Show makes me laugh like no other comedy in theaters this year, an shows like Dexter push other boundaries even farther. Damn I’m rambling, but my point is that there is still hope for entertainment, it just isn’t in movies at the moment.
August 22nd, 2007 on 12:07 pm
Going to a Harry Potter is not as bad as kind of looking like the dude.Seriously.
Anyway, good review, I liked the picture of the kids and the fourth book, and also the comment about Playboy…
However, I feel the need to point something out to you; There is no such thing as “pestrils”.The correct term is kestrals, skeletal horse/dragon hybrid lookalikes that can only be seen by those who have seen someone croak.
And Gnargles have a “g” at the beginning. ^-^
November 12th, 2007 on 7:49 am
arabic celebrity…
Man i just love your blog, keep the cool posts comin…..
November 13th, 2007 on 7:00 am
Carmella Decesare…
I Googled for something completely different, but found your page…and have to say thanks. nice read….