Necessary Measures

Can I get some tits on the Tube please? No, seriously I’m so sick and tired of youtube videos nowadays. I think what the site needs, above all else, is those bags of fat on the front side of women. Those frequently overlooked appendages of the female anatomy just NEED to be injected, artificially if necessary, into EVERY video humanly possible.

Have you looked at the most viewed page? Nothing but dudes. Just a big ‘ole sausage-fest of guys spewing out intellectual crap that has more basis in a classroom (bo-ring) and not showing us our much desired chick parts. I don’t want to hear thought-provoking monologues by experts in the field, dammit! I want CLEAVAGE!

I mean, how hard is it to get some flesh up there?! Since we all know porn is hosted on youtube, would it be such a stretch to get at least some “B” cups on that list? We all know that the internet doesn’t have any real resources for porn, which is why the brunt of us search youtube. Thank god for those intrepid individuals who use tags like “xxx” “sex” and “porn” on their videos. Good job, fellas.

But why aren’t these videos being shown as viewed the most? It seems a conspiracy is brewing to keep knockers away from the eyes of the average viewer. “Exploitation”, they call it. BAH! I’m a MAN and I want some GODDAMN TITS!

This message brought to you by the Sarcastic Bastard Coalition of Southern California (SBCSC). Noogins.


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7 Responses to “Necessary Measures”


  1. 1 Olaf of Norway

    the reason why there is no fucking tits on the most viewed page, is that after google bought the Tube, they are trying to make it more family friendly…
    When there was just chad and steve, they didn’t care what people uploaded, cause that was the point, pure democracy, what is uploded is either viewed, or not viewed, depending on how good the video was, or how much cleavage was shown…

    Peace out!
    -Olaf of Norway, everlasting boh3m3 fan!

  2. 2 niuri_cigarete

    well, youtube is for all ppl, including children :)

  3. 3 JOIYWTBJ

    Ben…I do hope you realize it’s because everyone is out to get you. All of us see boobs all over You Tube…but You Tube was hacked just so you wouldn’t see it.
    It’s all you, my friend. You alone are the target of thousands of little pranks, hopefully forcing you into insanity.
    It would explain a lot that has come from your You Tube career, wouldn’t it, dear Ben?

  4. 4 plazma

    Ben (may I call you that?), you’re right.

    And I am ready to sacrifice my own boobs - I had an ultrasound of my left tit the other day. Would that be enough…?

    Seriously, relax. You’re better than YT.

  5. 5 Panda

    can i has moar bewbs plz… sigh grrr its pissed me off to the max

  6. 6 Merr

    Lol, you have some pretty retarded fans. Sorry guy.

  7. 7 Julia TFD

    I agree with Merr.
    [comment # 6]

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