Your Television Loves You [Act 2]
by boh3m3 on Oct.11, 2008, under Random Thoughts
…and it’s going to kill you some day.
In our last Act:
A few years later, I moved in with some other 20-somethings downtown in an area known as “Five-Points.” They were waiters, like me. And like other waiters, I found, they loved pot and Adult Swim. These were fellow Children of the Coaxial.
They had get-togethers for new episodes of the Sopranos. They introduced me to Dexter on Showtime. They had more remotes than Radio Shack, and only two of them worked.
I was home.
I quickly settled into the old familiar activities. The passive-aggressive maneuvering towards the remote. The “Squatter’s Rights” regulations of whoever got there first chose the show. The sight of my roommate, Chris, slowly being swallowed by the recliner as he feasted on peanut butter from the jar. Things seemed to be going great.
Then I moved to California. Glorious, sunny, smog-hanging-over-like-a-fart Los Angeles. A new apartment with a shower, plenty of space… and no Television. Or, rather, there was a television, but no reception. Not even basic public access.
I panicked. I fretted. I tossed and turned in my bed at night like a sweaty deranged heroin addict locked in his bedroom realizing he’s being played in a movie by Ewan McGregor.
Then, after a while, everything got better.
I had a cable internet connection, and quickly worked out the best ways to get hold of all the entertainment I needed. I read books. Wonderful, insightful, cleverly written masterpieces that tickled my brain and fondled my soul.
Until the day Zack moved out. He left to live with his girlfriend in Long Beach, leaving behind a room populated by spare change on the floor and unrecognizable food bits scattered about like a rat buffet. The apartment seemed to have an open sucking wound for a room and I needed a roommate skin graft.
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October 11th, 2008 on 8:19 pm
Ewan Mcgregor is also amazing! He absolutely rules, have you seen Long Way Round?
Should I be making more relevant comments? Only I keep getting really easily distr- ooh Ben did you check out my blog? Didja? Hunh?
October 11th, 2008 on 9:09 pm
yeah im with thiefree…i love me some ewan.
but…if i had to chose between ewan the man…and dexter…dexter wins hands down
October 11th, 2008 on 9:11 pm
Mmmmm actor <3 scottish accent <3 motorbike <3
Great thing is though, he’d be fantastic just to have a pint and a chat with!
October 11th, 2008 on 9:17 pm
he does seem to be a genuinely beautiful person. of course the accent helps heaps…and well the bike as well.
October 11th, 2008 on 11:40 pm
@Shay: Aw you sap! The Scottish accent gets us all at one time or other. But try getting drunk with one and you’ll realize the honeymoon’s over!
October 12th, 2008 on 12:14 am
You weren’t kidding that your roommates “had more remotes than Radio Shack”!
Check out “TSDUAHDSS3DAOTRPOG Episode 1 (01-03-2007)”:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tv_LQx5ft5g
/Ben; please do a new episode of “The Super Duper Uber Awesome Hi Def Surround Sound 3d Adventures of the Random Passed Out Guy” cuz I’m a fan of the absurd.
October 12th, 2008 on 5:33 am
Oh I liked that one, it was very funny!
I’ve never met a drunk scottish person, I’m sure it’s a sight to behold. And a sound to be-dread.
October 12th, 2008 on 6:14 am
*sigh* i wish i could deny the “sap” comment…but i cant. as for drinking with scottish…i could try…but probably be so shitty drunk before the night really began…acting like an idiot and waving my discarded clothing over my head like an ass. im such a light weight :)