Letters From The Pube-Lick - Likes-To-Hold-Down-Buttons Boy
by boh3m3 on Oct.21, 2008, under Letters From The Pube-Lick
i understand that u dont want to do your ranty bitchy winey vidios again but you have to understand that that was your target audience and now you’v left them bleeding and raped in a puddle after you took then into your and fed them gold. AND WHY DID YOU DELETE ALL YOUR GOOD VIDIOS!?!!?!?!!!?!?!?!????!??!!!!!
1. u were cool but now u suck
2. your vidios WERE cool and the haberdashery ones are a nice break BUT then i read your blog and to my absolute disgust it ses that type of vidio is all u r making ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????i dont think you understand benjamin that if you were to make the haberdashthing vids
coupled with your normal vids more people would listen to what you had to say
BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOO you have to be a complete fucktardmehrurururmrmrmrrblaaaaah CUNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dear Likes-To-Hold-Down-Buttons,
First off, I’d like to thank you for illustrating by text your thoughts as the equivalent of leaning on a bitchy, whiny car-horn with a spelling problem. The 53 question marks1 after your two points really showed me just how confused you are, in spite of the sentence prefacing it being a statement and not a question. Your punctuation proclivities are only further proclaimed with the 52 exclamation points1 accenting “CUNT”, although I don’t know why you choked up on that last exclamation point. Is it an unconscious reflection on your confusion slightly outweighing your anger?
Second, and I think this is more important, you can’t even spell video, much less appreciate the amount of time and work and effort it takes to make even a simple, well-edited one. Do you know how long it takes to shoot, edit and process even a simple video blog in my style? Do you even care? how about that last motion graphics introduction, eh? That fucker took a long time to make, let me tell you.
Third, you label yourself as my “target audience.” After reading your message and considering just how right you might be, I have realized that I left all that behind me and I’m smiling so big I fear the top of my head might slide off. Do you even fathom what the crap you wrote? You just took your whole life, every thought in your head and emotion in your heart and labeled yourself as just a body in a throng known as “target audience.” What is even more baffling to me is that someone who writes like you do even knows the term, much less staples it to their soul.
If you are my target audience, accept this as a snarky public goodbye. I’m thankful that you did watch my videos at one point, and that you feel strongly about my videos going away. In a misguided way, your message is somewhat sweet in that it reveals your passion for what once was.
If you had read the blog post, instead of getting halfway through it and flying off the handle you rest your computer on, you would have seen that the videos will be back, albeit not on youtube.
I will be hosting them here for your enjoyment, although with such a rude message from you I’m disinclined to allow you to comment. I am terrified the rampant spelling errors and vitriolic remarks will attach themselves to my viewers’ faces a-la “Alien” and they will ask me to go all Sigourney Weaver on them. I’m not female and I’m certainly not thin, so that would be expecting more of me than I can provide.
The only way I could post this on my blog was with a VooDoo Haiku that serves as the formaldehyde-filled mason jar to your aborted cow fetus of a message. It goes like this:
Silly little kid
Likes to bitch and moan to me.
His words - impotent.
Wishing you get a stronger dose of medication,
-Ben
P.S.- Nobody calls me Benjamin, and I’d prefer it from now on if you never called on me at all.
Loading ...1: Yes, I actually counted them. It took me 33 seconds to count both strings of misused, redundant jackassery punctuation points. I could have read one stanza of Walt Whitman, pondered Guernica for over half a minute, or had sex, climaxed, lit a cigarette and still had 5 seconds to spare.
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October 21st, 2008 on 4:00 pm
…33 seconds total…but you would have had 5 seconds left over if you fucked instead?
I’m starting to feel bad for your girlfriend.
That was a really long response to something so irrelevant and impotent.
October 21st, 2008 on 4:02 pm
@joiywtj: One of the more delicious pleasures in my life is vivisecting stupidity in public.
October 21st, 2008 on 4:07 pm
Well I’m proud of you, Ben. You do a wonderful job.
Keep up the good work and I might just buy you coffee.
I’m going to buy myself some coffee, I think.
October 21st, 2008 on 4:15 pm
The sender must have been foreign, or 8 years old…and emo. There are only so many explanations you can give for such poor spelling, grammar and punctuation.
I have nothing against foreign people, 8 year olds and I can even stand whiney emos for a reasonable length of time. However, this is just sad.
It’s worrying to think that one day, this person will have a vote.
October 21st, 2008 on 4:56 pm
B, make up your mind. Either take the higher ground and leave the idiots alone, or wallow in the muck. You can’t have it both ways. Honestly sunshine, sometimes you seem to be drawn to drama like a moth to a flame!
Anyway, I’m glad you’re not regretting your decision, and I’m glad you’re aiming at a different demographic these days. However that does mean that if you decide to move on again, you’ll be getting some very well-informed criticism ;) Hope you can handle it!
October 21st, 2008 on 4:59 pm
ALthough I am not a complete fucktard like Hold Down Buttons Boy, I do share something with him in that I hope you still do your insane rants. if not on youtube then on some other site, like Vimeo. Anyway the new show (or series, whatever you want to call it) is great and I am looking forward to the next episode! Thanks for the great content over these 2 years ive been watching!
October 21st, 2008 on 5:08 pm
@Thiefree: You seem to think that “taking the high ground” excludes pointing out this sort of thing.
You’ll note that the message was curt, but polite. It was absent profanity, with one or two exceptions, and served as the mosquito repellent to the queen of whatever hive this Button Boy calls home.
It also was entertaining, at least to me. Although I admit showing this in public is mean, I did not reveal his screen-name or anything about him that would lead people back to him.
Make no mistake, dear Anna: this message serves more purposes than it seems.
October 21st, 2008 on 5:14 pm
Fair play :) I understand that a dude’s gotta vent spleen… and you weren’t cruel, when you could have been.
Anyways, to bed with me! Before eyes fall from my very SKULL. Take care, B, hope you’re doing ok. x x
October 21st, 2008 on 5:15 pm
AWH BEN! Thanks for editing and deleting my flu-induced stupidity.
He’s right, Thiefree. This was a polite, but funny, way of responding to this person’s harsh words and tongue lashings. I doubt this person minds the attention, as well.
October 21st, 2008 on 5:20 pm
Hey, nice feature with your comment section, what plugin is that?
Target audience always sounded like a dirty word to me.
October 21st, 2008 on 6:22 pm
Wow. Just wow.
<3
Shanna
October 21st, 2008 on 6:44 pm
You must secretly thrive on negative feedback, Ben.
It gives you the opportunity to verbally slice the opposition in a creative, funny and brutally honest manner.
It’s like Chef Gordon Ramsay decided to leave the kitchen (highly unlikely) and take up writing blogs.
There are similarities and who doesn’t enjoy a good meal or a good read?
October 21st, 2008 on 10:11 pm
Benjamin?? I realize that parents use the whole name when they’re scolding, but seriously!? What in the world is going on in this kids Electromagnetic Coagulation Device???
OzBro, you make me laugh. Kudos to you good sir.
October 21st, 2008 on 11:33 pm
Thanks for the compliment, Devo.
I owe it all to FARK.com and the man behind “Brainpoops”!
October 22nd, 2008 on 1:45 am
why is the world so obsessed with spelling and grammar? surly as long as you can convey your meaning to the other person you have met the required standard (although there is no excuse for using more than one exclamation mark and more than three reveals some kind of mental problem). but maybe i just have a chip on my shoulder as I’m dyslexic.
I’d say you were quite restrained given he called you a cunt. I’d have gone ‘I was your waiter’ on his ass.
October 22nd, 2008 on 4:00 am
Wow, what a little bitch.
October 22nd, 2008 on 8:09 am
@DevonBasedMan: The world isn’t obsessed with spelling and grammar specifically, but how you present yourself to your fellow man. Online, text was the first and most basic form of communication. It also is a reflection of your education and respect for the people you are communicating with.
This comment, for example, is being carefully constructed to make sure there are as few spelling errors, grammatical flub ups and grocer’s apostrophes as possible so that you don’t have to struggle to understand it. If it were typed in l33t or like an AOLer’s text message, it would be more difficult to read for you and would make the whole process of communicating much less effective.
October 22nd, 2008 on 8:12 am
I’m lovin the drama.
But frankly my fucking dear, I’d rather move with the current than be stuck simmering in a pee pool. This blog is updated 10 times more often than the videos were AND it’s totally fresh. It’s also higher quality work which keeps me actively rather than passively entertained. That in itself is a refreshing change. So for those people who AREN’T happy, listen up;
I can shmell your cunt.
October 22nd, 2008 on 8:15 am
He is the face of douchebaggery. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone so butthurt over change in my life.
October 22nd, 2008 on 8:36 am
Haha, that was excellent. I love how you can completely rip it out of this guy without actually calling him names or such.
Can’t wait for the next episode of Haberdashery. It’s hilarious.
October 22nd, 2008 on 9:52 am
a madox-esque destruction of a negative comment boh3m3. nice.
October 22nd, 2008 on 12:02 pm
that was good homes, really fuckin funny. i think thats what im going to miss, the way you dealt with the shitty people with their stupid comments. great post.
October 22nd, 2008 on 1:29 pm
to be honest, i think he only wrote that so you would respond… because really, who doesn’t know how to spell ‘video’? much less someone who seems to frequent a video sharing site.
October 23rd, 2008 on 12:04 pm
Physically minded people fight with their fists. Intellectually minded people fight with their words. This seems slightly unfair. A physically minded person can fight an intellectual, and the intellectual will KNOW ABOUT IT. And yet, when an intellectual attacks a more physically minded being, more often than not, they do not even realise. Your YouTube “friend” probably knows that he has been slighted, but is unlikely to appreciate the subtleties involved. This brings forward the question: Who was that post for? Who is meant to benefit from it?
Of course, perhaps some people get enjoyment out of seeing intellectual fighting in much the same way that other people enjoy watching wrestling, but I’ve never cared for either.
October 24th, 2008 on 2:01 pm
I just have to point out how envious I am of you, Ben, of your being able to handle the English language so well (not envious in a mean way, though, just the gosh-I-wanna-be-able-to-do-that way). I so (totally completely utterly infinitely) wish I could express myself with the same kind of ease in this language, but since it is not my first language it’s sort of difficult (can feel my genius shining through the words?). Writing well in English can give a person a potentially HUGE amount of readers (even though the competition is bigger too).
As to the post question, I voted “Nah”, because people of this sort are not worth any (more) of your time and energy. Really. Let them live and die somewhere in a shed with their fingers bruised from holding down buttons. They could not ask for more.
October 26th, 2008 on 3:54 pm
Ben i just want you to now that i regreted sending this comment or several of the same comment to your account soon after sending it i just was so angry at what you did i just needed to blurt it out to you any way i could, and maybe in my warped mind i just needed some sort of rant off you written or otherwise because you havnt done that for some time. i liked the way you handled my comment, no swearing from your side while at all times insulting me i loved it and couldnt stop laughing for ages… and btw i probably didnt read your blog as in depth as i should have and so i went and did a douchbag thing and im sorry for that, but i bet you enjoyed writing this blog :D
electric32
p.s the many many spelling errors were not because i cant spell its just because im very very lazy
October 29th, 2008 on 2:32 am
…Does he have down syndrome? I wonder, I can almost picture him and the Burger King dude together as twins…”I work at burger king..” “Yu suck for takin uof yur vidios…” can ya see the match there…oh yea on a random note..the term fapping..sounds like something a imbred duck with down syndrome and autism does…”quack, quack quack” “Fap, fap fap” Its like it flies sideways with its neck curved to the left in a 35 degree angle its bill slightly askew to the right and its left webbed foot 4 times larger..and of course its cross eyed too, like tugginmahpuddha cross eyed…
December 27th, 2008 on 3:25 am
Wow, lets get Gordon Ramsay on here to referee this fight - at least learn some good sledges, you donkeys, you muppets - are you pulling my plonker?