Brain Poops

Welcome to another edition of “Ask Boh3m3″! We’ve got a new batch of questions to get through, so lets stop dicking around and GET TO IT!

Dear Boh3m3,
Do you still think people watch you because you are “one of the people” (as quoted from one of your many interviews) and if so… do you think that will change when your dreams do come true and you make it big?
What is your favorite past-time these days?
Have you found work again? And if so doing what?
-AsksTooMuch in Arkansas

Even though I cut some of your questions, JAYSUS! But to answer your questions:

1.) I still don’t have a clue why people watch my videos. Never really have understood that, but I’m not one to look a gift-horse in the mouth. And on the second point, I’m not in a fairytale; I don’t think I’ll ever make it “big”, and to be frank I don’t think I want to. Being universally accepted usually means compromising yourself and your work to suit everyone’s tastes, and I’ve found I’m far too snobby for that.

2.) My favorite past-time right now is writing [obviously] with animating nudging it for first-place. I would be playing video games but when you’re buying cans of tuna on credit an XBOX360 is a speck in the distance with a thousand miles of broken glass on the only path to it.

3.) No, and I’m scared out of my wits.

Thanks for writing!

Dear Boh3m3,
During your no-TV stretch of time, what books were a “must” read?
Cordially,
Naughty Librarian in Lebanon

I’m a sucker for Tom Robbins. My long-time favorite of his is “Still Life With Woodpecker,” with “Fierce Invalids Home From Hot Climates” at a close second. I also have a battered and cover-less copy of “The Hobbit” from way back in my middle-school days that I revisit often. Failing those, I settle into some Hunter S. Thompson work.

Thanks for writing!

Dear Boh3m3,
Please, for the love of Buddha, take that disturbing picture down from your header. It’s grossing me out.
Grossed out in Gettysburg

You say that in the name of a dead fat man I should remove something “gross”? Buddha appreciated  gross as much as anyone else, though it was usually a gross of Orange Chicken, by the looks of him. And, by the by, this is “Ask Boh3m3,” not “Tell Boh3m3 What to Do With His Website.”

But thanks for writing anyway!

Dear Boh3m3,
Where do you find inspiration?
Oh, and what’s your star sign?
-Bitter and Numb in Norway

I don’t find inspiration in the stars, that’s for damn sure. I’m a Gemini, and my mind is like a big swimming pool covered in leaves of random bits of thought. I look for the interesting clumps of mish-mashed thoughts and scoop them out of the pool with my net of articulation.

Thanks for writing!

Dear Boh3m3,
3 parts to the question because I’m a nosy fat bastard. I want to get into acting, but I live in the sticks so here goes. 1 How much for a fairly livable habitat? 2 How many opportunities is there even something as menial as ‘background actors’? 3 Do Leprechauns leap from trees and steal your assorted fatty snacks?
-Rotund in Richmond

1.) I’m assuming here that you’re talking about moving to Los Angeles. To that I say: RUN. You know why it’s a cliché to bitch about LA traffic? BECAUSE IT’S TRUE! Smog hangs over the city like a blue-cheese fart with chunks, helicopters fly all over the place like Big Brother’s RC toy collection and the cost to live here is enough to make you puke, even if the smog isn’t. LA itself isn’t a livable habitat, but if you want to die by smog inhalation, crazy drivers, or the police, it’ll cost at least $700-$800 for the privilege, and that’s just for the studio apartments, without utilities.

2.) Yes, and being a background actor is like wishing to be a maggot’s underpaid and devoted ass-wiper. You will get some work, the days will be obscenely long and the pay will be $8 an hour to be treated like meat and schmooze with some of the strangest people you will ever see.

3.) Yes, and they are called the LAPD.

Thanks for writing!

Dear Boh3m3,
If you could live anywhere besides the US, where would you live?
-Geographic in Georgia

Tough call. I’d say maybe on an archipelago somewhere in the Pacific with a cable internet connection and a store just round the corner. I’d live in a house with stilts, fish out of my kitchen window, and generally have a great time until the next typhoon, hurricane or tsunami.

Thanks for writing!

Dear Boh3m3,
Do you believe that 2001: A Space Odyssey is a cinematic masterpiece or is it an over hyped piece of shit?
- Hal9000 from Montreal

I believe your propensity for hyperbole doesn’t leave enough gray area for me to breathe. It’s a movie, and is open for interpretation and speculation. Personally, I watched half of it before I became bored with the slow pace, only to have to endure a close friend’s vitriol at me showing it disrespect. The experience soured me at the whole shebang and I do my best to avoid Politics, Religion and Kubric in polite conversation.

Thanks for writing!

Dear Boh3m3,
My question is as follows: Why don’t you come to Finland for a visit (I have a gut-feeling that this is something you need to experience), if so when are you coming, and how will we spend our time together(because naturally I demand a visit)?
-Frisky in Finland

I’d love to visit Finland, but as I’m sure you know Americans are using their dollar bills to measure how much bread to cut nowadays and they are in short supply. Assuming I ever get to travel this great globe and slake my wanderlust, we’ll probably end up spending our time together at a small table acting as if everything is fine yet feeling somewhat awkward. From there, WHO KNOWS?!

Thanks for writing!

Dear Boh3m3,
How do you feel about our new President elect Barack Obama? Do you think he will make any real changes? And do you think that the fact that he is black is going to affect how other nations view the U.S?
I know how you love CONTROVERSIAL subjects.
-Political in Portland

I voted for Obama, and I’m not so much concerned with him making changes as I am worried I might have elected our nation’s newest martyr. Our fucked up little planet seems to have a bad track record in how we treat truly extraordinary people: Martin Luther King, John Lennon… shit a long time ago some homeless Jewish hippie said we should all get along and we stapled him to a lowercase “t”.

I don’t hope he will make changes, I know he will. Now all I hope is that the rednecks who put Obama shirts on monkeys and hung ghosts with Obama’s name scrawled on it outside their houses for Halloween don’t get tired of fucking their sisters long enough to buy a gun and use it.

Thanks for writing!

Some interesting questions this time around, and KEEP EM COMIN! Use the contact form below to submit your questions for next time.

-B

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