Dan Akroyd is a F*cking Loon
by boh3m3 on Oct.02, 2008, under Random Thoughts
It’s no surprise that the pressures of being a celebrity have a profound effect on those “graced” with the “privilege”. Some turn to drugs and loose women (but then again, who doesn’t these days?), others prefer large amounts of alcohol and expensive cars (SugarTits!).
However in MY opinion, a true celebrity is the most entertaining on screen AND off.
I can’t have been the only person amused with rumors of Michael Jackson buying the bones of the Elephant Man and sleeping in a giant tupperware penis while a CD of children screaming played through the night. I got a thrill my second night in Los Angeles when I spotted Tom Cruise scuttling from the Lucky Strike in Hollywood to his spaceship (cleverly disguised as a black tinted Escalade), eliminating Thetans with the sheer force of his nasal protuberance.
It is my great pleasure to report to you that Dan Akroyd has joined the ranks of “true celebrity” with this new endorsement for “Crystal Head Vodka“.
While it can be argued that this is might be an act in the same vein as Kaufman’s wrestler gig, it seems far more likely that after years of huffing the fresh ink laid on royalty checks from Ghostbusters he has gone batshit monkeyfuck nuts.
From a personal standpoint, I’m completely unnerved by the fact that he presents the information in the video in such a “I’m not a scientist, but I’ve played one in movies.” This combined with the fact that he’s selling vodka in bottles shaped like human bones is more than a little unnerving to me. It would be one thing to be selling it because it looks interesting enough and might be a great vodka, but to include “The Tale of the 13 Skulls” as a fucking pitch point is indicative of the truly cockeyed view of the alchohol business, if not the world as a whole.
But then again, he is Dan Akroyd, and will probably outlive us all by living in a cellar drinking vodka and dry humping ancient crystal bric-a-brac.
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October 2nd, 2008 on 5:52 am
They just keep getting sadder and sadder, soon it will be Chevy chase, and his horribly aged face screaming “BUY BUNYAN CAKES” or doing another horrible vacation movie! (The original and Christmas were the best)
October 2nd, 2008 on 6:17 am
This just in: very famous, very rich people can SOMETIMES BE A BIT ODD. You heard it here last folks ;)
October 2nd, 2008 on 2:12 pm
Although vodka is a deity’s drink, I noticed a little something about it’s container. It reminds me of a certain movie. A certain movie with a man named “The Beef”, who enjoys swinging with simians, a certain movie with more editing than Joan Rivers face, a certain movie named INDIANA JONES IV!!! The accursed fourth movie is of course subtitled, and features, Crystal Skulls, and that is what this vodka’s container is. Now, why would I want to drink from something that reminds me of a blotch on Indiana Jones’ career, even if it was the ever-so delicious vodka? I wouldn’t, even if it’s Danny Akroyd, a fighter of malicious balls of sentient snot. (That’s Slimer, for you idiots out there, I know you exist.)
Excuse my long post, but I had to point that out. Maybe even the great boh3mian master if youtube will read it. A poster can only dream.
October 2nd, 2008 on 3:12 pm
I really like the fact that the Vodka has been quadrupled-distilled & filtered through crystals in Newfoundland, of all places! I would like to try Crystal Head Vodka, to see for myself how it tastes (and have a piece of art to place on my shelf).
Then again, I’ve always been partial to aged, single-malt Scotch Whisky sold in miniature wooden caskets.
October 2nd, 2008 on 3:54 pm
i can’t drink. two shots and im drunk. no shit. and i weigh 246lbs. go figure. i never found the joy of drinking, i reserve it only for days that i really want to kill someone, because im a happy lush. the kind that is really annoying. yeah, no one likes when im drunk. what sad is to think that someday it might be denzel washington as the spokesman for the hov-around wheelchairs.
October 2nd, 2008 on 11:42 pm
Wish I had a glass skull to drink out of, I’ve only got real ones and they taste a bit funny.
Dan Akroyd is like a washed-up child star, just a few decades older. Listening to him makes me feel better about myself.
October 4th, 2008 on 1:27 pm
Wow…
I think that’s all i can say to that.
October 5th, 2008 on 5:20 pm
Dumb question: vodka tastes like something? :p
Mine usually tastes like whatever Jello it has been combined with… (no, I am not 12…only on the inside…)
I totally agree with Brandon (above)…I’m a one drink soozie, except I get all handsy and friendly.
And hey, just as long as we don’t see Clint Eastwood selling suppositories on late night tv…I don’t really care about the B actors making a living! :p
And Ben my dear- post your Paypal address!-
Jaide
October 5th, 2008 on 8:08 pm
Haha, nice.
October 8th, 2008 on 3:33 pm
Symboligy obviously he has never seen the boondock saints…..