Ahhhhhh Dating (Numero Dos)
by boh3m3 on Nov.04, 2007, under Random Thoughts
I’ve been thinking a lot about the dating world again and why I have such a love/hate relationship with relationships and love. Forgive me again for popping a squat on the server here and pinching out another entry. I guess when my nose is plugged up my mind opens a bit more… For in that snot of sickness, what dreams may come?
I suppose my beef with dating is carved from the first stages of attraction and how historically awkward the feeling is for me. Knowing that you are drawn to a person without knowing they feel the same is on par with walking across fluorescent bulbs barefoot with a lit firecracker in your teeth and ice cubes up your bum. At least for me, that is… but I’ve always been one to try and throw emotion into metaphor. My bad.
But then again that may be the sickly sweet feeling that makes finally knowing that much more intense. There’s always a point where the tension becomes too much to bear. When the electricity [ac or dc?] between the people becomes so tangible you imagine that if you turned off the lights at that moment, perhaps the two of you would look like a Jacob’s Ladder in a mad scientist’s bathroom. In that make-or-break moment, it’s all on the line, emotionally, and the stakes are high. Attraction is an all or nothing game, it seems. If no, spend the rest of the week moping about wondering whether it was worth it to try. If yes, well… put some cash into glow in the dark condoms and chick-flick tickets.
Man what a moment, though! I think its those successful moments that make love-junkies out of us all. When in that little instant you go from flighty possibility to absolute happenings, it’s like a damn dam breaking down and flooding a small town of 40, leaving 15 dead and 20 injured. The other 5 were out playing with explosives, authorities say.
When your lips meet for the first time [and you all know what I'm talking about here], you can’t kiss hard enough to express your feelings. It ends up making you feel like you’re trying to devour each other, really… and at that point in time you are so overwhelmed you don’t see just how stupid you must look slobbering on each other and making little lovenoises. It’s pretty comical when you think about it.
If I had to nail down my feelings about dating to a wall for inspection, I think that after sweating under the hotlamps they would finally give up the goods and tell me it’s the itching before the sneeze that gets me. I can’t stand all the little games before you are definitely with that person. I mean quit dangling the carrot, for fuck’s sake… that ass needs feedin.
Wow that last sentence didn’t come out quite the way I wanted it too… I just can’t stop laughing about it though. That’s as good of an ender as I’ll ever be able to make in this state I think.
Be chill, kids.
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November 4th, 2007 on 8:37 pm
Ah, this is a good one, you should have really made this into a video. I’m serious, would have been better than fucking thousand miles.
rock on dude, peace!
November 5th, 2007 on 1:01 am
Yeah the last sentence was a classic. Thank God my ass isn’t hungry.Haha.
November 5th, 2007 on 6:26 am
my experiences have been very different, thank God. Yes I’ve had all the “I-like-him-does-he-like-me” dramas, and they’re a pain in the ass because even if he does, there’s some reason why nothing will happen. Fortunately at the age of 20 I finally have my first boyfriend, and we’ve been on the same page emotionally since we met. Yay :)
November 5th, 2007 on 5:27 pm
Hahaha, I’m going through this exact same thing right now. That lovely feeling when you’re with a person and they keep on asking to see you and wanting to make out with you, etc., and you can’t help but look at them and be like – how the hell was I so lucky and when is this guy going to dump me?
Ah, this is why I usually date people who I consider not as good as myself. So I fuck someone else up, instead of being the one fucked up myself.
Dating only gets harder as you get older. :(
November 6th, 2007 on 11:22 am
Good luck.
I just stumbled across you, first on YouTube, now your blog. Right now everything I know about you is based on a couple of videos and a post about falling in love. You’re funny is a very real sort of way.
Your newest fan,
Houston Bridges
November 6th, 2007 on 2:12 pm
so eloquent ben, and i’m not being sarcastic, you have a strange way with metaphors thaat really gets to the core of things.
I wish relationships and dating were easier, i’ve never felt the tension of waiting to know if that person you want wants you back. I always assume they don’t, i always assume i’m not good enough, i always assume that even if they did want me, it would be an accident, and somehow i would have to fix it, and make them realize they really didn’t want me.
Call it an inferiority complex or anything else, whatever it is, it’s really got me stuck.
November 8th, 2007 on 9:29 pm
Awww, silverbeth, don’t think that! I think the best advice I’ve ever received on relationships is don’t think about it too much. And that includes analyzing if that person likes you or not.
Yes, I know, I fail at accepting my own advice.
November 9th, 2007 on 4:20 pm
Nice man…that’s all I can say…nice…
I can’t stand all that crap…the problem is I’m too nervous to do anything about it. Good obervations and keep up the good work…
nice…
November 11th, 2007 on 1:00 am
7oob…
I Googled for something completely different, but found your page…and have to say thanks. nice read….
November 13th, 2007 on 1:16 pm
Dating is always the complex issue.
or as i like to call it, the big headache.
November 13th, 2007 on 9:36 pm
Ah, love. It’s amazing how much potential there is for it in the world for each and every person… and yet it’s almost sick to think about because life is so unfair.
November 18th, 2007 on 7:34 am
You nail it!
I like the new look for site, by the way - instead of the black side of your black and white theme, you’ve gone for the white.
November 27th, 2007 on 9:23 pm
I know exactly what you mean by that. It’s funny because the other day I was talking to this guy and he had to leave for a bit since he had something he really needed to get done. Fine with me. But he comes back and apologizes and I go “oh it’s fine.” And he says to me “But I’m translating from woman speak to man speak here. and you’re pissed right?” I almost laughed my ass off at him. I don’t do women speak I told him.
That whole weird ass waiting game can bore me to death. I tend to just be really blunt about it. The last guy I just said “Forgive me if I’m a bit too forward…but I would be delighted to take you out to dinner sometime.”
Honestly- it’s the easiest way to do it when it comes to guys.
December 8th, 2007 on 2:36 am
if you cant tell already im going to try and comment all your posts in one screaming phenomina known as i have no life. love is the strangle hold just waiting to sufficate us all isnt it? that tiptoeing around bothers everyone (i hope) the funny thing is were so lonely when we arnt with someone and were so tired of the person were with after a couple months of dating after youve herd all there stories. the people who say “its better to have loved and lost then to never love at all” are jackasses. loved and lost sucks, and unrequited love is even worse, i hate that. when your sitting there with the girl you like, wanna date, what have you and you want to tell them so badly that you like them but never have the balls to say it. or its completely bad timing. i have the worst luck with timing so that may just be my complex. but as a final pose. i really dont want a carrot in my ass . ba dom tissss..
December 29th, 2007 on 9:04 pm
What. The. Hell.
It’s pussies like you that always whine about “nice guys finishing last” because you don’t have the balls to make a move on a beautiful woman. Women don’t want a guy that’s going to be hesitant or timid about making a move. Don’t get all whiney now that you’ve decided you’re not man enough.
January 26th, 2008 on 3:05 pm
This is one of those things that is just a simple fact of life. There is inevitably going to be time when you get twisted up about what might or might not happen in the course of something that you’ve grown feelings strong enough to give that much a fuck about. “Definitely with that person” is an interesting concept though, for me I say I’m definitely with that person when I start to realize I’m going to put up with the games they play because I convinced myself their worth it. Anytime there is something you really want, actually try your best at, or pour all your passion into there is a great chance that your opening up a window in your mind to all of the possibilities that potentially come along with it. A lot of those suck, but thats life.
March 20th, 2008 on 7:14 pm
We all strive for love. Women, typically, more so than men, dream for hours on end about THAT moment. It’s the best high you can ever get which is why we’re all so drawn to it.
Great blog. :)
March 22nd, 2008 on 10:23 pm
Well done with the metaphors, as usual. Absolute hilarity. This psychologically invalid self consciousness that peeps its little head out every once in a while is ridiculously amusing. I would assume that real dating (as opposed to “I couldn’t help but notice your beer pong skills from across the room…” dating) is a challenge for all people whom are looking to find someone to have a connection with.
I belive that what most daters don’t realize is that it’s that awkwardness and those pathetic games that make the start of the relationship fun and exciting. If effort put in is given right back out then epic success! If not, meh - just move on! Or just do the easy thing…fuck your friends! Hah, well forge the relationship first and then fuck ‘em, but you get what I’m saying.
Also, I’m all for that whole electric shock of passion in the kiss but I completely prefer the static tingle that follows when you brush up against that person for the first time. You know, when their hand, accidentally or purposefully, brushes yours, or when the other person thumbs an eyelash off your face. What a shudder rush. It’s also the easiest way to tell if they feel the same because everyone does the same thing: They hold their breath or freeze momentarily. Gotta love it. (^u’)
March 25th, 2008 on 7:23 pm
I think you need that buildup. Like summer after winter. An orgasm, even. You need to build the tension and then when you finally do kiss her, fuck her, it’s all that much sweeter. You need some people in life that aren’t going to like you back… if any man could get any woman, and vice versa, well, what the hell kind of life would that be?
I get you, silverbeth. It’s like we don’t trust ourselves enough… we know all of our flaws, enough to know that we could never make someone happy as we are. So even if someone is attracted to us, it’s not honest. I think we need to realize that everyone has flaws, no one is perfect, and that self-fulfulling prophecies are just that.
I can’t imagine you’d have a hard time finding a woman, Ben.
March 28th, 2008 on 3:33 am
haha I’m just not good at this kind of thing.. period.
Maybe one day I’ll know what your talking about first hand..
But love the metaphores.. you have such a great way of putting how you feel to words… Something im envious of! because i cant seem do that haha
keep it up :D
-nicole
April 19th, 2008 on 10:00 pm
I guess this is one post that i keep going back to and reading…possibly because it’s the one i can relate to the most? I am the worst romantic at heart. I love the excitement of the awkward first touch, first kiss. It’s just so amazingly sweet. There’s always time later for the good hard fuck. But the passion that goes into the firsts…if you can’t have that in your life, then your life is just boring, i think. HardlyAnonymous said it just right, i think.