Archive

Dear America: Freedom of Screech

Published
by
boh3m3
on October 9, 2008
in Dear World
. 20 Comments

I need to talk about something that’s usually to be avoided at cocktail parties and any event where the tearing of your fellow attendee’s limbs off would be frowned upon.

Politics.

Now before your eyes glaze over and the drool starts to run from the corner of your mouth, let me say that this isn’t going to be about Obama. It’s also not going to be about McCain or Palin or Biden.

No no. This is a post about you. My American Brothers and Sisters. Siblings that are unfortunately thrust together not by choice, but by proximity.

Like the standard American family of today, we don’t treat each other the way we should. What would more smoothly be settled with a detached, calm discussion is quickly turned into a screaming match where invective and insult is catapulted back and forth like flaming pots of oil in a castle siege.

This seems to be the norm and standard for political process at all levels of our American government and media.

Above is a video titled “The Sidewalk to Nowhere,” and it is footage of McCain and Obama supporters divided by asphalt lobbing one-liners at each other. The procession of McCainies is headed to the McCain/Palin rally in Bethlehem, PA. In spite of the name, it seems like there’s not a Wise Man among the bunch in their journey to what I’m sure they believe is their new savior.

Continue reading ‘Dear America: Freedom of Screech’

The Evils of Advertising and Merch (Site Update)

Published
by
boh3m3
on October 7, 2008
in Site-Related
. 22 Comments

Hey-lo!

So here’s the grip: I’m putting ads on the site.

I hate ads. In fact, I think that advertising in general is right up there with the genocide, torture, and Michael Bay movies. If there were another way of swinging this, I’d be all for it.

This is, unfortunately, a necessary evil. As of right now, I’m running adsense units on the site and looking for new ways to swing things.

It’s my hope that with a bit of work, I can host videos without those annoying in-video ads on this site and earn enough money to keep the site running without taking cash out of my pocket. I’m not looking to get rich off the site or turn blogging into my full time job. I think that puts too much strain and priority on advertising and makes the whole mess more annoying to everyone involved.

I AM looking into a service that allows bidding on adspace, instead of the usual google-generated stupidity that nets me five pieces of lint and a slap in the mouth.

I also plan on having some merch put together, in the form of stickers, T-shirts, and maybe some DVDs of my videos for people to buy if they want. I realize that’s a bit arrogant, so I’m not going to have more than a few items that are related to me. Instead, they will focus on my abilities as a designer and graphics dude and include inside jokes and graphics from this blog and videos. Of course, there might be the few basic “text on a shirt” kind of bits. Hard to ignore them, since they are easy as hell to make.

But I’m going to put designs to a vote by YOU guys, so that stuff that isn’t good gets the axe and things that pass can get feedback for tweakage.

The ads will never be pop-ups, or annoying “You’ve won a free ipod nano/laptop” kinds if I have my way. Adsense will have to be the bit for now, but that may not last long.

So please give me your thoughts on this whole arrangement. I can’t say that comments telling me to keep the site ad-free will be taken seriously without a suggestion on how to make money to pay the server bills. Suggestions are completely welcome and kind of needed at the moment.

Advertising?

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To My Fellow 20-Somethings: Parent-sitic

Published
by
boh3m3
on October 6, 2008
in To My Fellow 20-Somethings
. 13 Comments

For your consideration: Bob.

I’m going to tell you something that I’m terrified to believe myself. I am going to write something that, up to this point, has been a personal taboo phrase ever since I was old enough to speak. Something that shakes the very core of me to consider.

Our dads were right.

I don’t expect you to believe me, since it’s universally accepted that it takes the better part of a decade for the ennui and angst of our teenage years to get pissed out of our system like last night’s beer. Teenage rebellion burns long but not forever.

Just take that sentence under the first paragraph and stick it in the back of your mind. Wedge it among the trunks of old memories gathering dust and cultivating cobwebs that you can’t seem to forget but still seldom remember. Bury it in the soft folds of your fuzzy teenage memories with a note saying “Consider this in 5 years, repeat as necessary.”

“Parent-isms” attack like a virus. They lurk dormant in all of us until a triggering event sets the renegade cells in motion. These “Parent-sites” are composed of idioms, parental tics/habits and everything you once thought of as “a waste to know that will never come in handy.”

Continue reading ‘To My Fellow 20-Somethings: Parent-sitic’

Wean [Video Update]

Published
by
boh3m3
on October 3, 2008
in Exclusive Video
. 12 Comments


Wean. from boh3m3 on Vimeo.

RSS Tutorial: http://www.videojug.com/film/how-to-use-rss-feeds

  • Made a Press Clippings page for any articles about or including me. More of a scrapbook for the family, but it’s there if you want to take a peek.
  • I’m also open to the idea of paypal donations if you would like to be featured on my Producers page

Dan Akroyd is a F*cking Loon

Published
by
boh3m3
on October 2, 2008
in Random Thoughts
. 10 Comments

Nuttier than squirrel turds with a bottle to match. Drink vodka endorsed by an ex-Ghostbuster from a glass human head TODAY!

It’s no surprise that the pressures of being a celebrity have a profound effect on those “graced” with the “privilege”. Some turn to drugs and loose women (but then again, who doesn’t these days?), others prefer large amounts of alcohol and expensive cars (SugarTits!).

However in MY opinion, a true celebrity is the most entertaining on screen AND off.

Continue reading ‘Dan Akroyd is a F*cking Loon’

Laundromat

Published
by
boh3m3
on September 29, 2008
in Random Thoughts
. 13 Comments

The blood of the fallen will dye our sheets!

It’s about 8:00 PM Hollyweird time and I’m sitting outside the laundromat reading Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance for the umpteenth time.

I feel the seconds of my life peel off for good, and I wonder what I could be doing instead of cleaning all my black t-shirts covered in snarky phrases.

I hypothesize that if the different cultures of mankind had evolved completely isolated from each other, laundry day would still be regarded as a drag by everyone concerned.

Laundry-time always feels like some sort of time/space aberration. Regardless of what laundromat you go to, or how long you think washing will take, it always feels like a whole day wasted be it in Los Angeles or Prague.          Continue reading ‘Laundromat’

Dear Fly

Published
by
boh3m3
on September 25, 2008
in Dear World
. 20 Comments

Greg, showing us with his eyes how engaging an insect model really is.

Dear Fly,

Hey there! I couldn’t help but notice you buzzing around in my kitchen. Have you been there long?
My name’s Ben. I live here, and have for the past year and a half. If it weren’t for your short lifespan, I might have considered you a good roommate for how quiet you’ve been.

Do you have a name? Is it OK if I call you “Greg”? I hope so.

Greg, you’re not looking well. I’ve seen more than a few flies in my life and they all have had two wings. I admire your avante garde take on biological development, but it just won’t fly.

Or did you lose it in an accident? Perhaps you were scaling the grand PizzaBox towers and took a nasty fall, snagging your delicate wing on the cardboard in your sickening drop. I imagine you as an adventurer fly first class, Greg. It seems like the sort of feat you would attempt.     Continue reading ‘Dear Fly’

Cinder - Sneak Peek for boh3m3.net subscribers

Published
by
boh3m3
on September 23, 2008
in Exclusive Video
. 26 Comments


Sneak peek for subscribers - Cinder from boh3m3 on Vimeo.

So I’m releasing this video early to you all as a thank you to those of you who have read, commented, subscribed and such to this site in spite of the rocky start it had.

Thank you all, from the bottom of my black little heart.

…and for god’s sake, keep up the commenting. It makes me smile, in spite of all my reasons to frown.

-Ben

ALSO!

If you are tired of seeing the same shit on that most viewed and most commented list, I encourage you to share with your friends. It seems obvious youtube isn’t going to feature me again, so I need you guys on the ground to help me with the footwork.

From now on, I will only be putting out high-quality, well-crafted videos. You have my word on that. The boh3m3 channel will no longer settle for webcam vlogs and youtube drama posts. I have a higher standard for my videos now, and I’d like you all to help me get to where I want to be.

I don’t have tits, a cat, or a cheesy shtick to pander day after day to Youtube, so I don’t get much money at all from views. If I can get enough views to earn some real money, I will put most of that money towards producing better content more frequently, instead of blowing it on an iPhone and gallavanting across the country fucking groupies.

Thanks for visiting, and laugh at yourself for thinking I wasn’t coming back.

Continue reading ‘Cinder - Sneak Peek for boh3m3.net subscribers’

A Few Words On… Motorcycle Speakers and the Asses Who Love Them

Published
by
boh3m3
on September 18, 2008
in A Few Words On...
. 12 Comments

Pictured: The Douche-O-Rail

It should be said right up front that I am a purist at heart.

I think that when playing music, it should come from the heart. I think that movies should be borne of a burning desire to tell a story, not just to grind out a profit or expand on an already complete series (*coughIndianaJonescough*). And it’s my firm belief that if you’re going to ride a motorcycle, don’t use a giant ass set of speakers and otherwise obnoxious useless bits.

Of course, it should be noted here that the subject is very near and dear to my heart and experiences. I grew up around my father’s friends and their motorcycles over quite a few of my formative years.

I heard terms like “soft-tail” and “fatboy,” thinking naively that they were perhaps talking about John Candy. I ogled the pictures of scantily clad ladies on the walls of the garages, once I saw the value in such an exercise. Continue reading ‘A Few Words On… Motorcycle Speakers and the Asses Who Love Them’

Sometimes I daydream… Zombie Outbreak

Published
by
boh3m3
on September 14, 2008
in Sometimes I Daydream
. 11 Comments

Sometimes, when I’m outside having a smoke, I dream about a zombie apocalypse.

My night-owl sleep schedule dictates that the hours I unusually spend outside fall during the latest points of the evening. The silence of the night is deafening. The stillness of the world around me is inescapable.

Right around the time the stillness of the night starts to register in my brain, I imagine a cadre of the undead rounding the corner to my cul-de-sac.

Their entrance is signaled by the foul stench of the dead wafting over the Spanish tiled rooftops of my pseudo-suburban neighborhood. I can hear the grinding scrape of exposed leg bones as they are dragged across the pavement, leaving a gory trail of bone fragments and tattered skin.

I picture freezing in place, hoping that they somehow have developed the visual acuity of a Tyrannosaurus. But my body can only remain still for so long as the lit cigarette smoke drifts up into my nostrils and eyes.

One zombie notices the smell of tobacco and fear emanating from my frozen figure. Its change of direction is followed blindly by the others in the horde. By now, I’m exuding fear and sweat the way an atom bomb exudes warmth.

Then I fart.

They begin a frenzied run1 at me, mouths agape like sharks at a fat seal daycare. I panic and bolt into the garage-side door which serves as the entrance to my attic apartment. Continue reading ‘Sometimes I daydream… Zombie Outbreak’