I’m yanking the dead meat off of YouTube like fat ole Uncle Jessup at Thanksgiving grabbing a drumstick.
I’ve been mulling over removing many of my videos from YouTube for a long time. Occasionally in stupid emotional fits, others in cold rationality, and yet again after enough drinks to put down a medium sized caribou. But this time it’s in the works and I won’t take any bitching about it, mainly because the videos aren’t really leaving as such. They are just migrating.
Anything that contains copyrighted material is being torn out and remastered. Any video that I think is either topic-based and long past it’s expiration date or is not work I am proud of will be ripped from it’s sockets. After the peices are scrubbed and primped, they will be Frankensteined here for those of you who actually enjoy the videos.
Allow me to explain: Haberdashery is a big step for me. Huge, actually. It’s a reinvention in the most extreme sense of the word in that I don’t plan on going back to the old state of mind. Ever.
YouTube appealed to me originally because it was the upstart rebel platform to the established, hulking giants of the media. Now, it IS the damn media and the nastiest people are settling in like maggots in a rotting log. I saw the revolutionary turn into the dictator, and I decided it best to leave town.
What I mean when I say I’m not going back is I never want to be the person I became during those two years on YouTube. The slightest taste of pseudo-fame was enough to inflate my ego and waistline to cartoonish proportions. I became bitchy, boring, and starved for inspiration. My muse had moved out, taking everything with her, including the coat hangers and ice cube trays.
When I left that site for what was originally supposed to be a few weeks, I felt alright. No… better than alright. I felt fucking fantastic. It was a liberation to not stress or evaluate myself based on comments, views and subscribers. It was a relief to not feel any pressure to produce anything on demand and it was a godsend to not have to deal with the asinine and sometimes destructive feedback from my work. To truly let that which does not matter slide.
My “work”. Pfft. I’ll tell you now what you should have already known: that wasn’t shit. I don’t mean to offend you all who enjoyed it, but I’m generally not proud of my first two years’ worth of work1. I was more proud of my achievements than the work I had done to get them. To this day I am mortified whenever someone watches one of those videos in my presence.
I was a talking head screaming into a microphone and cussing my way into the most subscribed list on a crest of teenagers who were just thrilled to see someone older than them just as angst ridden and surly2.
Boil it down guys and strip it of sometimes witty one-liners and my editing style3 and what have you got? A bitter waiter-cum-critic throwing himself around his bedroom in fits over the inconsequential. Makes me feel like the goddamn Tourettes Guy, sans fashionable neck-brace and Tony the Tiger shirt. I guess I understand why people liked that to a degree, but that’s no way to make a name for yourself.
My father used to tell me that I should remember my name will be attached to whatever I turn in. Meaning, of course, that whatever you do should be worth having your name on. Haberdashery is the first of many projects that I am working on that I am proud to attach my namesake to. I consider each frame of every video a “Hail Mary” to my muse and an apology to the people who enjoy my sense of humor but not the way I acted initially.
So that is it. YouTube is now nothing more to me than a video hosting site. I intend to host Haberdashery there in the meantime, but I have no qualms about yanking it out by it’s root and planting it on another site. Youtube loved me, fucked me, beat me and left me for dead. It’s hard to feel anything nice about a site like that and a community so fickle.
Any rants or videos that qualify as “videoblog” turf will be hosted off of YouTube and embedded here in blog posts for your enjoyment.
I value all of the people who supported me there for so long, and it’s my dearest hope that they keep up with me either here or through the channel. I hope you understand that I cannot be a part of that world knowing how I reacted to it.
Consider this my pseudo-farewell. I don’t plan on answering comments there any longer4, nor do I intend to write another word on the subject. I’ll hobble my fingers and cut out my tongue if I so much as mention YouTube or the drama it farts out on a daily basis. I’m shrugging off the weight of that site, and lemme tell you I feel as if I can fucking FLY.
THIS is my new home, and I intend to make it the best it can possibly be within my abilities.
I’m standing on a rock surrounded by sea, but this is MY damn rock and I’ll paint it how I like. I’ll shout whatever I want from it at the top of my lungs without apology. I’ll make a lasso out of my words and art to snare your eyes and minds. I’ll chisel it into funny shapes and stand on it one-legged and covered in blue paint if I damn well please.
You’re welcome on my rock. We’ll make bonfires out of the scrap wood we pull from stiff overpaid actors and celebrity tabloids. We’ll have satirical intellectual orgies so lush and extravagant Caligula will peek out of his grave long enough to say “fuckin’ show off.” We’ll hyperbole our simile like a metaphorical swordfish ten miles long and powered by rocket fuel. But mostly we’ll get drunk and wonder what the fuck I meant by that last sentence.
I don’t need whatever YouTube might have to offer me, and I prefer the distance this site puts between myself and the casual watcher there. If someone isn’t interested enough in my dealings to come to this page then so be it. They aren’t invited to the party, which is all the more snackies and booze for us.
So thank you all again for subscribing, commenting, or even just popping in for 20 seconds to sneer and click away.
I promise you the work I do from now on will be the best I can offer, and I can only apologize for the mistakes of the past by actions and not words.
Welcome to the rock.
-B
1: With a few exceptions, which will be left on the boh3m3 channel.
2: Not my words there, but the words of a commenter. Checking my insight demographics, he’s absolutely right.
3: Which, let me tell you, is nothing special. All I did was obsessively remove the “umms” and “ahhs” and dead air amongst my ramblings.
4: Not that I really did that much anyhow…
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Hey Ben, It’s a little weird to hear you going on about the evils of youtu..I mean the bad place. I kinda expect it from Blunty but from you it’s a little harder to hear.
You were actually the first person I noticed on YT. Before I saw one of your randome vids I only thought of YT as a place to go watch 30 seconds of people taking objects to the groin to music. You actually introduced me to Vlogging. I’ll be frequenting this sight from now one. Thank man and good luck.
I love your originality. Marry Me. Great desicion, love the new peircing and the hair ! really … marry me ;)
20 years from now, when my kids ask, I will say that people like boh3m3, renetto, little loca, morbeck, and zenarcher made Youtube. You should be proud of the old work…it took a lot of guts to sit in your room and talk to “the internet”.
I too I stop posting on youtube. Either I have grown out of it or I am too busy living the student life here in the uk and working a bar job. I did make a few shall we say pen pals on there randomly. But its full of lot of twats now. My brother is doing well from it (he is featuring on a bbc3 show as an editor or something). Haberdashery is awesome, you have every right to be proud. The rock is comfy. Thanks for the invite. Mandy. P.s. I was the one who asked about the british voices.. not that it matters.
Also forgive any typos. Its nearly 6am and I just got back from work.
the old stuff wasnt bad. prob dated like u said tho. they will become interesting memory items to look back at in years to come. chow4now
Ben,
I can honestly say I am glad to see you move on from Youtube, though it is a rather bitter-sweet moment. You’ve become a very inspiring person to many people, including myself, through your ideas, creativity, and take on life. I fully support your decision to take your “work” in this new direction, and I hope to see more videos like “Haberdashery,” it was endlessly entertaining. Though don’t forget, Ben, we still want to hear from you, every now and again, as I’m sure you enjoy hearing from us. I hope you will continue to keep us updated on your life with video logs, for you have always had a great charisma on film that was warming and entertaining. I only hope you don’t let the despise you have of your former video blogs detour you from making more. No one says you have to do it the same way.
You’re a creative and funny man, and I look forward to what you will be bringing to the table.
Boh3m3, I’m going to be quite honest, I absoloutely fucking loved your old videos, No swearing was the first video I Saw of yours back in 2006 when I Was a pissed up 6th grader with nothing better to do, And I Still get a fuck load of giggles out of Everything from your First video right up to “Another Damn Update”
No Swearing, Haters, Title, Now Look, I’m 15. I’ve pretty much been a self confessed and Avid Fanboy of yours, Even though theres been a few rough moments like the 1000 Revivals of Boh3m3 and complaining about there being no Inspiration, But before mid 2007 you just fucking ran with it and It came off as a “Individuals Funny Commentary on Life”
And I Also Recently deleted my videos due to looking at the Idiocy that I Projected into peoples Computer screens.
Anyway, I’d love to actually get into contact with you after two years.
I just want to say that I respect your decision to leave you tube. Honestly when I joined over two years ago (yours was the first channel I subscribed to) being sick with cancer was not so bad as what you had to say or do for that matter kept me laughing or just put a smile on my face. Slowly though it was becoming obvious that you tube was changing and not for the better. That said, following you to another site? Most definitely and you’ll always have my support.
Very nice, im glad you have made this decision. Nice website.
Sup Ben,
I came back here after seeing the last youtube video entitled ‘Please Explain’ after I read this. Honestly Haberdashery didn’t do much for me and I didn’t watch the second one, It’s not really my kind of thing. So I’d guess a large chunk of the missng views is from people like me. I always liked seeing an angry waiter getting to speak to thousands about sometimes bullshit and sometimes quite morally profound things.
But since you’ve quite clearly laid out you plans and are “breaking up” with the now uninterested portion of your audience, I’ll be one of the unsubscribers. I’m still gonna come onto your site a bit to read becaue for the last couple of years I been watching you (doesn’t that sentence sound creepy….) You’ve been THE most honest and insightful person I’ve encountered on the tube. Don’t know if that’s a compliment to you or and insult to youtube, probably a bit of both. I’m glad for you that you still pursuing your art form and keeping it as pure as possible because really with your own art there’s nothing more important than you being honest and happy with it. Wish you the greatest success for the future.
Former Irish Boh3m3 Fanboy.
Take Care Ben
It’s understandable to pull out now. I’ve been watching your videos ever since you came out with the very first youtube commentary. There is only so much you could do until it gets cliche’ and mediocre. youtube isn’t what it use to be. I enjoyed your videos and respect what you have done in those videos and I wish you the best of luck.
i can’t really say i understand what u went through with youtube seeing as how i never put any videos up cuz i have no camera. however, i agree with the idea of u getting rid of the old “work” u’ve done on there. i know if i was you and i saw something that i didn’t like i would wanna get rid of it as soon as possible. its ure material, do with it what u like. and i’m not gonna bash haberdasherry b/c like it or not its something to watch. i didn’t make a youtube account just to sit and let it rot, i wanna watch videos for entertainment when i have nothing else to do. so like i said, its ure “work”, do what u want with it.
Ben
I am glad to see you back in the game with your OWN set of rules, and expectations. As one of your early subscribers of ’05 I just want to say I remember seeing you through so many fazes in your life –from ALabama and onward. Ben, just make yourself happy, that was my message to you back then, and still is.
peace
Good to see new stuff from you, keep up the awesome work man.
I love your commentary videos, don’t really care where they’re at.
As far as low views on Haberdashery- for my part, I watched the first and just plain didn’t care for it. I’m not going to judge the quality or anything, it looked well done and all that, I just didn’t care for it, so I skipped the second one when it came up in my list.
I may not be the only one who did that.
yep you got me on the youtube rant you did, but still it had to be dun i gues.
good job on your annamatoin vids, keep it up, i will look fowerd to your tutarials, ok good luck and have fun,
Hey Ben.
I just wanted to say, I agree about the Youtube thing. I’ve been watching your channel for half the time it’s been up, (a year) and I’ve gone back and watched your old stuff. But I agree that in the time I began watching to now, Youtube has changed drastically. And that’s sad, because I see all my favorite Youtubers just being tossed aside. Your generation of Youtubers changed the face of it, and I do have to say it was more the fault of your generation. The people that put the site on the map (save a select few) were beginning to make money off the site, and that made Youtube realize what kind of a money-gaining property Youtube could be. I’m a Youtuber myself, though I’ve only made a few videos. I need a new camera, mom took away my old one because she didn’t like me cursing on the internet.
But anyways, I agree about the state of Youtube, but at the same time I think I’m going to stick with the site. Not because I want to join the throngs of people who take advantage of its property, but because it’s kinda become an out for me and my personality, something, sadly, I have to restrict myself from in the real world.
Keep it real, Benny-boy.
It is good to see you growing,
see your talent glowing,
to see you.
Oh, yes, that does mean that I kind of like those old farts in totally gear wheelchairs. But what I like better is your working. Fucking hard. Not just yelling at a computer. You got that part right. Now, when you… but that is for you to find. Hopefully I will live long enough to see you grow through several more… lives.
“In the zoo the children whine and fuss,
talking of hippopotamus.”
———————–S.T.Smellypoot.
I’m glad I held out. I found your early stuff at a time when I was lonely and needed another voice in the silent void. You were that voice. Rant, review, dramatic plea for less drama, or just talking about You – I tuned in. I spent 4 days watching and re-watching the old stuff to catch up on what you were posting weekly. Whether or not you like it now, everyone has got to start somewhere. The “Boh3m3″ that appeared on those videos needed to be released to allow the “Ben” you are now to rise to the top. Congrats, and I can’t wait to see what happens next. :)